SPARF: Press week 18 ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Uluru Dingoes ------------------------------------------------------- TinHead offers the following odds for the coming round: GOLD (CUP RACE) Victorian Mandarins 2/9 v New Sturt Blues 7/2 Nar Nar Goon 4/6 v Krazy Kenora Kangari 5/4 RELEGATION Limboland Mists 13/8 v Port Coquitlam Circus Stars 8/15 Petawawa Purple Platypi 4/5 v Seren City Supers EVENS Black Company 4/5 v Darwin Destroyers EVENS The Mythstics 4/5 v Himeji Herons 4/5 Buffalo Knights 4/5 v Christminster Clerics 4/5 Livermore Rowdy Yobbos 11/8 v Uluru Dingoes 8/13 California Sluggers 1/6 v Silicon Valley Angels 5/1 Kuala Lumpur Technocrats 4/6 v Sherwood Bandits 5/4 Manix Maulers 8/15 v Air-Pacific Groundhogs 6/4 Roxburgh Kittens 4/6 v CSUA 5/4 Wallamaloo Philosophers 2/7 v Warrnambool Sea Hawks 3/1 Windy Hill Superstars 11/2 v Rockdale Radishes 1/7 Newcastle Novas 13/8 v Melbourne Bloods 8/15 ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Buffalo Knights ------------------------------------------------------- As everything winds down, Neve Campbell sits alone in the Knights' practice facility, writing love letters to Kitty Chan. Or is it hate mail? In either event, the Knights' mobiles will be determined by a random drawing, as well as an Internet poll of the Buffalo fans. To date, the mobiles will be the injured John Hotshot, Morgan (who was cut this week) and Iron Man, who was traded to Manix a long time ago. The Internet poll results to date: 5 votes for Bob Smoth, the rookie 4 votes for Ross to get back together with Rachel 3 votes for French hens 2 votes for Do you have Prince Albert in a can and 1/10 of a vote for Heather Graham in a tank top ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Manix Maulers ------------------------------------------------------- >From the pages of The Manix Obituary Observer: Tragedy struck Manix last night as Coach Lucy, the Manix Maulers' Head Coach, shed off her mortal coil. Born Lucy The Boer Goat, Coach Lucy took over the reins of the Maulers in 1996. Nicknamed "Coach Lucy the Goat with The Hacking Cough," due to her trademark hacking cough, she was single hoofed-ly responsible for the Maulers' meteoric rise from Silver to the middle of Silver to the bottom of Silver to Bronze to the top of Bronze to nearly the Top of Silver. What does this mean for Our Fair Maulers? No one knows. Attempts at appointing an interim coach were met with lots of gunplay. Thoughts of hiring a Mystery Coach were met with enthusiasm initially, but eventually resulted in more gunplay. Manix can only hope that somewhere, Coach Lucy is looking down and bestowing upon her team her usual expression of indifference and slight revulsion. In other news, the starting ">" that has cursed our nation's press has been linked with cancer of the spleen and our current economic meltdown. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Petawawa Purple Platypi ------------------------------------------------------- dis eez da furst tim en a lung tim dat weez dun had tim 2 git sum prez 2 getter een tim for dedlin tim. I hop U no wat I meen. necksed weeks lastest SPARF gam 4 da PPP wil nut B aat r rejuler feeld. radder, we hav D-cidered 2 ooze D armees myan cleerin praktize feeld 4 R gam. sta tooned. Loopy Creature PPP