------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Sherwood Bandits ------------------------------------------------------- Pressed for time... ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the New Sturt Blues ------------------------------------------------------- Manager Barry breaks his silence to the press for the first time in about 2 months.... This is a monumental week. The Hungry Jacks Cup is to be fought over again between the Blues and the Raiders. Our preparation has been poor despite our recent unexpectedly good form. Three players out this week has meant panic buying of body-filler including the former NSB stalwart Ebony White who has been traded 3 times in the past 5 weeks. We assume the halls of Asgard are abuzz with expectation. Let them buzz. Soon all that will be heard is the whimpers of the fallen as Nurse Ratchet applies the Snoopy band-aids. The halls of black and gold will be awash with a brilliant blue light. A sleeping giant has awakened. Err, or is that the real life Sturt I'm thinking about? The Raiders are our next stepping stone in our climb to the finals. We could still make it. We never expected such good form when we started the year. Good coaching and zero loss of skill through injuries has been pivotal. And our secret lineup strategy has helped too :) Now, it's back to work, massaging the numbers. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Christminster Clerics ------------------------------------------------------- A shock win againt a rather unlucky Fire, they looked better on paper, but our straight kicking kept us in it. A full list to pick from this week, the first time in a while. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Uluru Dingoes ------------------------------------------------------- Gold Victorian Mandarins 1/100 v California Sluggers 70/1 Giant Redwoods 8/15 v Petawawa Purple Platypi 6/4 Livermore Rowdy Yobbos 1/5 v Black Company 4/1 Port Coquitlam Circus Stars 1/16 v Havana Spaz Attack 13/1 Spring Creek Piranhas 2/7 v The Mythstics 3/1 Greymoor Gladiators --- v CSUA 100/1 Buffalo Knights 13/8 v Uluru Dingoes 8/15 New Sturt Blues 8/13 v Viking Raiders 11/8 Silver Air-Pacific Groundhogs 5/2 v Indiana Fire 1/3 Sherwood Bandits 1/13 v Nar Nar Goon 11/1 Limboland Mists 2/5 v Roxburgh Kittens 2/1 Christminster Clerics 1/9 v Silicon Valley Angels 7/1 The St. Louis Cattle 1/25 v Warrnambool Sea Hawks 20/1 Seren City Supers --- v The Borg 300/1 Manix Maulers 1/40 v Krazy Kenora Kangari 33/1 Chattanooga Crusaders 4/5 v Wallamaloo Philosophers 4/5 * Bronze Darwin Destroyers 1/70 v Albion All-stars 50/1 Newcastle Novas 1/30 v Kuala Lumpur Technocrats 20/1 Adelaide Hornets 10/1 v Himeji Herons 1/13 ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Himeji Herons ------------------------------------------------------- Mobiles killed us again. Rather one mobile killed us - John Parsinen, 9 goals. Ouch. Congrats to the Destroyers - just maim the Technocrats for us in the final round, okay? As an aside, we've won 4 games from 5 away and 3 games from 7 at home. Can anyone see a trend here? Herons 4. 7 7.10 10.14 12.16. 88 Novas 3. 3 7. 5 12. 9 17.14.116 Goals - Himeji: Collins, Harvy 3; BigToe, Cummins, Mercury, Simon, Stanford, Thorfin. Albion: Parsinen 9; A. Hart, Swan, Putty 2; Breyer, Nelson. Best - Herons: Arceri, Darcie, Fletcher, Harvy, Stanford, Thorfin. Novas : A. Hart, R. Hart, Holmes, O'Flaherty, Parsinen, Putty. Crowd: 17,674 at Himeji This Week: We should win as we are playing away. Or perhaps our fate is beginning to mirror the Dons'? ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Aldelaide Hornets ------------------------------------------------------- Like I said, I didnt expect to win, but holding the novas to a victory margin ofless than 15 goals was nice. This week look out Himeji!!!!!!!!!! ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Buffalo Knights ------------------------------------------------------- Following recent attempts to destroy the popular and elusive Super Secret Buffalo Footy Facility, the Buffalo management was able to protect the structure itself with a fresh set of aluminum siding. Bridget Fonda explained, "Those Manix cats think they can wreck our fine new SSBFF but they'll have to find it first. Now all we have to do is keep them from hacking into our computer system. We delayed them with some bad cardgames and bogus URL sites but we may have to consider more drastic action if they don't knock it off." John Not agreed, "That Manix stuff isn't just about the SSBFF; it is affecting our training. We got a slew of ridiculous injuries to guys with NO fatigue this week, so you can understand how distracted we are." The result of the injuries was a narrow and disappointing loss to the Gladiators. In other footy news, Channel 59 sports announcer Gem Shapiro has been reported missing in the Great White North and no one in the Buffalo Knights organization has come forward with ideas or has any explanation. Or so the Germans would have us believe. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Manix Maulers ------------------------------------------------------- From the pages of the Manix Times-Star-Bugle-Venture: Although the construction of the Buffalo Knights' new Super Secret Buffalo Footy Facility (SSBFF) temporarily managed to elude several Manix intelligence agencies, the Republic of Manix Ministry of Underhanded Retalitory Tactics announced plans this week to pull the plug on the expensive Buffalo training field. "A large structure like that is expensive to maintain," said an anonymous source. "The Buffalo procurement guys aren't exactly rocket scientists either. Our elite financial operatives are draining their slush funds dry as we speak. It's only a matter of time until they go skint. And selling John EraserHead won't help." In other news, Channel 59 reporter Gem Shapiro, who covered Buffalo sports news for all of ten minutes, was pronounced dead near Barrow, Alaska yesterday. The cause of death was suspiciously determined as "complications from a particularly vicious lichen attack." ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Petawawa Purple Platypi ------------------------------------------------------- Tim 2 tri a nuder nu lin ep. Dis tim da teem wil tri 2 kon troll da mid-L uv da feeld, Y-L da kids C watt eets lik 2 b mobills. Y R da Sluggers een 2nd lassed plase. Loopy Creature PPP ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Viking Raiders ------------------------------------------------------- VIKINGS READY FOR CUP REMATCH OSLO: The atmosphere is alive here at Raider Park. A new spring has emerged in the step of the old, tired legs as the Vikings do their warmup laps. The assembled fans whisper among each other in an expectant hush. For it is time once again for the mighty Viking Raiders to travel down to New Unley for the rematch of the Hungry Jack's cup. "We were massive underdogs last year", spoke Head Honcho, Urban Legend and All-Round Good Guy Uncle Steve. "Everybody wrote us off. In fact I myself thought about putting a few bob on the Blues. But on the day, the lads came out with all guns blazing. 3 of them went down injured - Nurse Ratchet could hardly peel the Snoopy band-aids fast enough to keep up. The lads played the game of their lives and got the money, 25-11 to 22-15. The boys are keen as mustard to repeat the feat this year... partly so they can be the first team to win the Hungry Jack's cup back to back, but mostly 'coz I've promised them all free bacon double cheeseburgers if they win". GO YOU MIGHTY RAIDERS - BACK TO BACK OVER THE BLUES!