------------------------------------------------------- Press from Mel ------------------------------------------------------- More bug fixes: After fixing the "ROV shouldn't take the ballup" bug, I've now fixed the "Not the RKR either" bug. Assuming the Centre and LFP can be kept away, the Ruckman should finally start doing his job. The huge bug (as previously reported) was that the away team refused to shoot after a mark because of some brainded code ordering. (1, is the player too busy to pass to? 2, if this is a shot under consideration, don't use any (more) of the pass-related tests.) game split back into quarters quarter length back down to reasonable levels (maybe some minor tweaking would be good here, but we're in the general range) the start-after-behind code needs to be beaten on again. injuries need to be turned back on if you know of others, speak up ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Sherwood Bandits ------------------------------------------------------- We lost. By 1 point. That sucks. At least the Doggies won :) ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Melbourne Bloods ------------------------------------------------------- Oh baby are we gonna get flogged this week......... ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Christminster Clerics ------------------------------------------------------- It looked like black company wanted to loss or at least experiment - with an extrodinary selection of where good players would play - lets hope the Buffalo Boys (or is that Knights) do the same thing. A win is a win is a win! ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the CSUA ------------------------------------------------------- Our strategy is failing. We got more injuries, and lost again. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Uluru Dingoes ------------------------------------------------------- The Mandarins' win last week has solidified their favouritism for the Cup, while Port remain their likely opponents. CUP Victorian Mandarins 2/7 v Giant Redwoods 11/4 Port Coquitlam Circus Stars 1/3 v Petawawa Purple Platypi 5/2 RELEGATION New Sturt Blues 2/5 v Indiana Fire 2/1 The Mythstics 11/8 v Viking Raiders 8/13 Christminster Clerics EVENS v Buffalo Knights 8/11 California Sluggers 11/8 v Livermore Rowdy Yobbos 8/13 Newcastle Novas 4/5 v Uluru Dingoes EVENS Black Company 1/3 v Roxburgh Kittens 5/2 Sherwood Bandits 2/5 v Kuala Lumpur Technocrats 2/1 CSUA 4/9 v Wallamaloo Philosophers 7/4 Seren City Supers 4/7 v Krazy Kenora Kangari 6/4 Limboland Mists 1/33 v Silicon Valley Angels 25/1 Nar Nar Goon 1/40 v Melbourne Bloods 25/1 Air-Pacific Groundhogs 2/7 v Himeji Herons 3/1 Manix Maulers EVENS v Darwin Destroyers 8/11 Warrnambool Sea Hawks 1/9 v Melbourne Yerns 7/1 ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Himeji Herons ------------------------------------------------------- Damn! Damn! Damn! That's for each of three goals. Scored by the Kittens. Scored by North Melbourne against Essendon. That's for the three players sidelined this week. We've had a total of 13 injuries all season - and then cop 4 in one week. Worse still, two of our best players have been scratched this week from level 0 injuries. *sob* Any chance we had of beating the Groundhogs has disappeared. In a major coup, the Herons were able to secure the services of Tony Stark before the game, hoping to give our mobile department a bit of a boost. Alas, it wasn't long into the game before he was out. This is probably what cost us the game. A letter of protest will be sent to the Manix Maulers - taping a guy's leg with Band-Aids(tm) does not constitute recovery! From the number of warm-bodies on their list, we would have thought they would have known better, but perhaps it was us who should have known better. Not that we want to be seen spitting grapes or coughing up fur-balls. We've also asked Commissioner Mel to investigate the Kittens over a number of scratching incidents that occurred during the game. We've also hired a private investigator to determine if the Darwin Destroyers had anything to do with the unduly rough play we experienced. A spokesman for the Kittens quoted, "Hey, this is the real world. If you want to play in the Silver League, you gotta be tough enough to hack it. Those Herons, they're just a bunch of pussies." Well, at least we found it interesting to play against an ex-Herons player in Gary McDonald (unless there is more than one G.McD. in the competition). Bring on the Groundhogs - let's get this over with! Gambaroh Himeji! ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Buffalo Knights ------------------------------------------------------- A good, but expected win over the Goon made everyone in Buffalo happy. "I don't know who to hug and kiss first, but it's someone in this room," said John Bastard, right before everyone fled the vicinity. Quickly. "I feel as though we're really hitting on all cylinders now, as an offense, and having no injuries going into next week will be an added bonus." John Pamm's words were perceptive, postive and smart and would have been taken more seriously if he wasn't wearing a blaze orange zoot suit at the time of the interview. John Sloth said "Buffalo stinks!" Then folks realized he'd crept in from the Goon locker room. Apparently still miffed, chagrined and bitter about being traded from the Knights' roster, John Sloth has been conducting covert operations and sneaky activities for a Manix newspaper. He was removed from the Buffalo press conference, stuffed into the trunk of a 1970 AMC Pacer, and left in the police impound. The Knights hope that the injury to the Clerics' Freddie Stone isn't serious, as they hope to beat them on merit and not hurt, fluky lineups. Rumors that the Clerics will play Neve Campbell at ruck-rover abound. -Buffalo Management ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Victorian Mandarins ------------------------------------------------------- Both cup race games are being hosted in British Columbia this week, and the Mandarins are guaranteed to make at least the third week. Life is looking good for SPARF fans in Canada. Too bad the same can't be said for fans of the CFL. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Manix Maulers ------------------------------------------------------- From the pages of the Manix News Digest: At a hastily assembled press conference yesterday, Manix press secretary Smilin' Pete Zinger fielded questions from reporters about the Maulers' awful season and single-mindedness to end up in Bronze. "Hey, you obviously know more about that than I do. I don't know if I am allowed to tell you this, but Coach Lucy has been in the hospital, recuperating from a twisted stomach or something. The doctor said that her current prognosis is Player Name Hosp/Rec Coach Lucy 1/4 The guy standing to the left of the podium with a truncheon prohibits me from commenting further." Coach Lucy, of course, is the Maulers' head coach and a 19 year-old long-haired boer goat. She accidently ingested a large quantity of RFP Cliff Secord's sweat sock several months ago. Only until recently was it revealed that Cliff Secord's other sock had taken over Lucy's role as head coach in the interim. Rumors in Manix indicate that Interim Head Coach Sock may not be asked to return to Manix next season. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Air-Pacific Groundhogs ------------------------------------------------------- Hit with two severe injuries, the Hogs still managed to stay close in last weeks game. Coach Nemeth was had to be escorted off the field for unspecified reason, but had this to say after the game This is KUOP, severing the Central Valley and Mother Lode Areas. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the PPP ------------------------------------------------------- Wen weez plazed da Blues da furs tym, we dun taut we dun shuda beet dem. Dis tym, wen we dun luked @ da scotty reap hort, wee dun taut dat dey shudda beet us. Go fig your. Wit 1 pla your een da Hop Spit Al an 4 een da my nurrs re kove ring frum der en Juries, weez nose weez guts no chans uv gon an E farder en da SPARF cup. Loopy Creature PPP