------------------------------------------------------- Press from the The Black Company ------------------------------------------------------- What does a ratio like 200:1 really mean in the context of a game?? I mean, 200:1 to pick a winner in a game is basicly meaningless. I know that, for the most part, my team sucks. What I really think would be better would be a point spread. I don't really have a way to beat a ratio, but I might be able to sneak a few more points on to my score to beat the spread. A large ratio is depressing, especially when one's opponent doesn't even get one. I think the Dingos should change his betting line to a point spread and save the 200:1 odds for picking the winner of a league. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Melbourne Bloods ------------------------------------------------------- Very nearly regretted helping out fellow Melbourne Team, the Yerns.... Came though in the end, after a team lifting goal from young CHF Blake Reeves..... Went on to win, but not comfortably... On to next game!!!! ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Christminster Clerics ------------------------------------------------------- After tuesday's training King Sunny gave a rare press conference in response to the Clerics second shock loss to the novas. "We are clearly a better team on paper - last time we put it down to just bad luck - I guess second time round that just isnt good enough. The Novas clearly showed more heart and I think some of our boys can learn a lot from what they did!" ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the CSUA ------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Uluru Dingoes ------------------------------------------------------- For unknown reasons, the rankings are broken for about half of Gold. This has resulted in some clearly silly odds being offered, such as the Vikings over the Platypi. Silver/Bronze oddities: Kuala Lumpur is favoured over the Mists, despite having won fewer games. GOLD Giant Redwoods 4/7 v New Sturt Blues 6/4 Greymoor Gladiators 9/1 v Port Coquitlam Circus Stars 1/11 Indiana Fire 13/1 v Victorian Mandarins 1/15 Petawawa Purple Platypi EVENS v Viking Raiders 4/5 Uluru Dingoes 8/15 v Black Company 13/8 Livermore Rowdy Yobbos 4/5 v Sherwood Bandits 4/5 Spring Creek Piranhas EVENS v Buffalo Knights 4/5 The Mythstics 4/5 v CSUA 4/5 SILVER Air-Pacific Groundhogs 40/1 v Seren City Supers 1/60 Kuala Lumpur Technocrats 4/9 v Limboland Mists 2/1 Manix Maulers 20/1 v Roxburgh Kittens 1/25 Christminster Clerics 4/13 v California Sluggers 11/4 Nar Nar Goon 2/1 v Newcastle Novas 4/9 BRONZE Darwin Destroyers 4/9 v Warrnambool Sea Hawks 15/8 Albion All-stars 4/6 v Connecticut Yankees 5/4 Krazy Kenora Kangari --- v Melbourne Yerns 500/1 Silicon Valley Angels 4/5 v Himeji Herons EVENS Melbourne Bloods 6/1 v Wallamaloo Philosophers 1/8 ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Himeji Herons ------------------------------------------------------- I guess we found another weakness! The game was a lot closer than it looked. We just hope we can work on our accuracy before we play the Destroyers again! Time to hone some skills against this week's opponents.... ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Krazy Kenora Kangari ------------------------------------------------------- Nothing like a home game! Funny watching those Southern Yankees wading through knee-high snow drifts, and trying to keep their footing on ice! Being clean players, we tried to tackle into the thick powder, but Conneticut seemed too prone to injury. Maybe it was the volleys of snowballs our fans kept raining on them! Kenora Kangari, "Football on Ice" ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Roxburgh Kittens ------------------------------------------------------- Ugh. Preparations are now under way to dominate Bronze in the coming years. Look out! ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Buffalo Knights ------------------------------------------------------- The Mighty Mighty Knightones picked themselves up out of the Goldleague depths with a triumph over the Dingoes despite suffering 5 injuries and getting all the IC players roving around the pitch switching positions faster than the Lord of the Dance's tapshoes. John Deadpool led the game with half of his team's points. "We really played our guts out tonight and it paid off in the end. Besides, we're 2-4 against foes that were all top-flight Gold in the pre-season annuals, so anything we can do the first half of the season will bring about huge dividends in the closing weeks." Upon finishing the above statement John Deadpool was carried off by a jubilant horde of the Buffalo television and print media. Apparently this was the first time that a Knights' player had ever made such an insightful and intelligent statement to the press. John Twotone tried to get in on the act, claiming that the Knights "just gotta play'em one day at a time" that he was "Just happy to be here. I hope I can help the ballclub" and then added "I just want to give it my best shot and the good Lord willing, things will work out." Twotone was then immediately struck by a beanball from Kevin Costner, who attending the game with friend and actress Neve Campbell. Both were sporting new Buffalo jerseys and T-shirts reading "Manix Is for Sissies." -Buffalo Management ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Manix Maulers ------------------------------------------------------- From the pages of the Manix Times-Star-Bugle-Venture: While most of the lawsuits are still being filed by the victims of last week's John Oates / Andrew Ridgely concert, the Manix Maulers will try to not have too many players die this week against the Kittens so that they can field a team against the mighty Sluggers next week. In other news, astronomers from Stanford University revealed that the so-called UltraStrongandLongLooking Buffalo Rubble Telescope in locked geosynchronous orbit over Buffalo was actually pointed at the C & P Drive-In near Pointa Vista Florida at the time of the announcement of an impending meteorite impact with the Republic of Manix. The telescope apparently had mistaken "Deep Impact" for an important scientific discovery. Said acclaimed astronomer Geoffrey Marcy, "This mistake by Buffalo has set back astronomy at least 150 years." ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the The Mythstics ------------------------------------------------------- Praise The Owners, an injury free week - which releases a warm body for the altar flames. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Newcastle Novas ------------------------------------------------------- ... another close game. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Port Coquitlam Circus Stars ------------------------------------------------------- Injuries continue to plague the Circus Stars this week. Johnny Juggler and Trained Seal are both out this week with pink eye. At least we hope it's pink eye. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Petawawa Purple Platypi ------------------------------------------------------- Ouchie ouchie ouchie. Weez guts 2 tyred frum plain 2 gams en 1 wek. Dat mus B da rezon 4 R first levle 2 ingerees dis seezon. Gud luk 2 da Bandits az weez duz nuts hav R bestest 2 moe bills dis week. Loopy Creature PPP ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Connecticut Yankees ------------------------------------------------------- Another loss...we've now scored 34 in last two weeks. We're hoping to bring our franchise's first victory shortly. ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Yerns ------------------------------------------------------- Wow, we sure came close last week. What will we do this week against the top team in Bronze? The Yerns are now: W L T 0 6 0 ------------------------------------------------------- Press from the Livermore Rowdy Yobbos ------------------------------------------------------- Another twirl of the ladder yo-yo. Things are even! But we haven't played the tough guys! W L T 2 2 0 Support your local team! Go Rowdy Yobbos!