story 1


Chang Hu-Man was going to the market for some fresh platypus-tooth powder for his aged yet humorously feisty grandmother when his extensive secret training in the art of suck-fu warned him of an impending attack by those who would harm his ancient master who had been instructing him secretly by night these past three days. He quickly centered his Chi and leapt 35 feet into the trees above. As he gazed upon his attackers they gazed back upon him, and they all grunted, eyes widening in recognition.

"You!" Chang cried.

"Yes, it is I. Now I shall kill you! Ha ha ha!" The Leader of the Malicious Band laughed, his lips unmoving.

"Gasp!" cried Chang, jumping into the next tree.

"Gasp!" cried the Evil Foe and his Henchmen.

"Ah. I see you are a worthy foe after all. Your ancient secret master who has been instructing you by night these past three days spoke the truth. Too bad... I had to kill him!"

"Gasp!" cried Chang.

"Ah, you see it is true. And now I shall kill you. Ha ha ha!"

Chang leaped across the road into the next tree. "No. It is you who shall die!" He executed a perfect swan- fly- through- storm- with- mild- indigestion (2nd class), channeling the mystical energy from his 4th Chakra through his fingers towards this Deadly Adversary. His Dark Opponent, sensing what was about to happen, slipped into a leaping- frog- through- hail- with- one- leg- and- advanced- myopia (Level III) into Chang's original tree, simultaneously calling upon the dark spirit of Soft-Lee the Impotent, sworn enemy of Chang's ancient secret master who had been instructing him secretly by night these past three days, to destroy the youth before him. Chang's eyes widened as he saw the multicolored ball of iridescent destructive energy flying towards his tree and leapt to the ground in a flawless grouse- with- head- blown- off- in- midflight- by- a- young- and- vigorous- Charleton- Heston (Mark VI), landing in the exact middle of the Henchmen.

"Ha ha ha! Attack!" cried the Evil Foe. Immediately the Henchmen lined up for their one on one assault.

"No, no, no! What are you doing?" shouted Chang's Sworn Enemy.

"Uh, we forgot who's first. These outfits all look the same." one of the Henchmen said, as they continued to form & reform their line. "Is this right?"

"You imbeciles!" He leapt down from the tree and performed an impeccable flying- toadstool- spores- death- of- a- thousand- little- tickly- things- that- make- your- eyes- water- and- stuff (v3.1.1), quickly dispatching the ill-prepared Henchmen himself. "If you want something done right..." he muttered while looking about the clearing.

"Hey, where'd he go?"

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