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Most
of us feel that we have a pretty good idea as to what is right and what is
wrong, and we are usually not afraid to express our opinions about what we
consider to be right and what we consider to be wrong.
How can we be so sure that we are right about an issue when the guy who
lives down the block from us is so sure that we are wrong about the same issue?
The guy who lives down the block began a socialization process of
automatically exchanging his subconscious spiritual thoughts and feelings with
other people through the Collective Subconscious early in life.
We also began the same socialization process early in life.
How can our opinions be so different?
Even though we were each developing spiritual links with other people as
we were growing up, we were not developing our spiritual links with the same
people.
The
people who we developed our spiritual links with became an important part of our
thought processes. They became like
a conscience telling us what was right and what was wrong.
Whenever we would express our opinions about an issue, we would feel that
we were being “watched” and that we were being supported by these people who
we were spiritually linked to. And
the guy who lived down the block also felt that he was being “watched” and
that he was being supported by the people who he was spiritually linked to.
We did not feel that we were living in a fantasy world and the guy down
the block did not feel that he was living in a fantasy world.
Our spiritual connections with the people who we were spiritually linked
to were very real and very dynamic and those spiritual connections were a very
important part of our reality. And
the spiritual connections of the guy down the block were very real and very
dynamic to him. Those spiritual
connections were a very important part of his reality.
We lived on the same block as the other guy but we lived in different
worlds.

When
a vulnerable guy starts to develop relationships with people outside of his
family, the people who he meets will be confused.
Due to the fact that they believe the family’s fantasy that the
vulnerable guy is living in a real spiritual world (and not a fantasy world),
they will wonder why they are only able to develop a very practical and very
limited type of a relationship with him.
Most
people who the vulnerable guy meets develop a deep set of emotions (which is the
most important part of their soul). They
also develop a practical set of emotions. An
example of a person using their practical emotions might be a car saleswoman
merging the practical part of her soul with the souls of her customers for the
purpose of getting them to buy an automobile from her.
When a customer comes into the car dealership she tries to build rapport
with that customer by developing a practical sort of spiritual attachment with
them. After creating this spiritual
attachment she will be exchanging subconscious spiritual thoughts and feelings
with the customer. She might allow
the customers to take a test drive with the car.
One customer who takes a test drive will take the car out into the
country to see how fast it will go. Another
customer will use the car to pick up their kids after school.
When the customers come back and the saleswoman realizes that the test
drive has helped them to overcome their doubts about the car, she will be happy
that they want to buy the car but she will not know where they took the car on
the test drive. But even though she
does not know consciously where the customer took the car on the test drive she
might know at a deep subconscious level where the customer took the car and she
might know what the customer was thinking during the test drive because of the
practical spiritual attachment that she formed with the customer when the
customer walked into the car dealership.

We allow those myths to go deep into our souls because the myths come into us in a magical way (through the automatic exchange of subconscious spiritual energy with other people through the Collective Subconscious). For this reason, if a vulnerable guy meets a woman who is only merging the practical part of her soul with him, there will be quite a bit going on. The woman who the vulnerable guy meets is also exchanging her spiritual energy through the Collective Subconscious with other people who she knows. A lot of vulnerable guys might have gotten into a pattern where they are interfacing with a woman (who we will call a “primary woman”) who is only merging the practical part of her soul with the vulnerable guy. The primary woman is relaying the spiritual energy that she picks up from the vulnerable guy to other women who she knows (who we will call “secondary women”) through the Collective Subconscious. And the primary woman might also be relaying the spiritual energy of the secondary women who she knows to the vulnerable guy through the Collective Subconscious. The vulnerable guy might be picking up some strong emotional feelings because he can sense that there is a magical exchange of spiritual energy taking place between him and the secondary women. The secondary women are receiving the vulnerable guy’s spiritual energy and the vulnerable guy is receiving their spiritual energy.

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The vulnerable guy has only limited exchanges of spiritual energy with other people. For this reason, the vulnerable guy is not usually aware of the exchanges of spiritual energy that go on between him and other people. But when he meets a primary woman such as the one in the example given above, he is able to pick up spiritual energy from her. But he isn’t really impressed by the exchanges of spiritual energy between him and the primary woman because he knows that she treats him in a very superficial sort of a manner (she treats him no differently than she treats most of the other people who she knows). But he does sense that she is serving as a relay point between him and some of the women who the primary woman is acquainted with.

The
problem that the vulnerable guy faces is that even though he is exchanging his
spiritual energy with these secondary women, he is not able to develop a
relationship with any of the secondary women directly.
The vulnerable guy’s relationships with the secondary women are based
on the fact that the primary woman is serving as a relay point between him and
the secondary women. The secondary
women might become angry with him. They
might think that he started an emotional involvement with them and then did not
follow through and failed to develop a relationship with them.
The secondary women do not realize that the vulnerable guy’s
relationships with them require the involvement of a primary woman.
The
emotional involvements that the vulnerable guy develops with the secondary women
seem magical to him because he can sense that the primary woman is relaying his
spiritual energy through the Collective Subconscious to the secondary women who
she knows and that she is also relaying the spiritual energy of the secondary
women who she knows to him through the Collective Subconscious.
Because the vulnerable guy has never experienced strong exchanges of
spiritual energy with other people, these exchanges of spiritual energy seem to
be magical to him. Other people can
tell that the vulnerable guy is more involved with the secondary women than he
is with the primary woman, but they also believe the fantasy that was created by
the vulnerable guy’s family. Because
other people (including the primary woman and the secondary women) believe the
fantasy created by the vulnerable guy’s family saying that he is capable of
developing deep relationships, they assume that he is being foolish for not
further developing the relationships that he has started with the secondary
women. But there are a few other
people who understand what is going on.
There
is an old saying that you reap what you sow.
But there are a lot of people who don’t like the idea that you have to
work at planting seeds if you want to have a harvest.
A lot of people prefer to reap where they don’t sow.
Most people believe the fantasy about the vulnerable guy that was created
by his family, but there are some people who can see through the deception.
The people who like to reap where they don’t sow know that the
vulnerable guy does not want to get into another situation where he gets to know
a group of people and the end result is that the primary woman is mad because
she thinks that he has been leading her friends on emotionally and the secondary
women are mad at the vulnerable guy because they feel that he has been leading
them on. The ones who like to reap
where they don’t sow know that the vulnerable guy’s emotions are not strong,
but they also know that he gets very nervous when he feels that he is getting
involved in a situation where a new primary woman is going to relay his emotions
to secondary women who she knows and where the end result is going to be that
everybody will be upset with him.
The
people who like to reap where they don’t sow will watch very carefully when
the vulnerable guy starts to get to know a new group of people.
They will see that the vulnerable guy is exchanging some spiritual energy
with the primary woman and with the secondary women.
The ones who like to reap where they don’t sow might start a rumor
saying that the vulnerable guy wants to get involved with the primary woman.
The people who start this type of rumor know that it will make the
primary woman angry and it will make the secondary women angry.
The vulnerable guy will get nervous when he senses that these people are
becoming angry with him. At this
point the people who like to reap where they don’t sow will try to make
everybody think that the rumor is true by pointing out to everyone that the
vulnerable guy’s face is turning red. They
will say that he is obviously embarrassed because what they said was true.
When this happens people will start to think that the rumor must be true.
They will misinterpret the vulnerable guy’s response.
When
the people in the group see the vulnerable guy’s face turn red they are seeing
a combination of his weak emotions towards the various women involved mixed with
the feelings of frustration and panic that he feels whenever people try to
create a fantasy about him that is not true.
There are two reasons why the vulnerable guy panics when he gets involved
in this sort of a situation. The
first reason he panics is that he knows that it is now going to be hard for him
to make friends with this new group of people.
Now that they believe something about him that is not true, it will be
hard for him to form any genuine relationships with these people.
The vulnerable guy also panics because he knows that what has just
happened will make it harder for him to form good relationships with other
people in the future.
The
people who like to reap where they don’t sow (and who take advantage of people
who are vulnerable) can become just as important (or maybe even more important)
to the spiritual and psychological development of the vulnerable guy as the
people who the vulnerable guy actually forms relationships with.
The vulnerable guy might eventually come to an awareness that his
relationships with secondary women are based on his interfacing with a primary
woman who relays his spiritual energy to secondary women who she knows.
But the vulnerable guy also needs to be aware that some of the secondary
women who he meets might also be women who like to reap where they don’t sow.
The
problem that the vulnerable guy faces when he is dealing with secondary women
who like to reap where they don’t sow is that he can sense at a very deep
level that there is a magical exchange of spiritual energy taking place between
him and these secondary women. He
will sense this exchange of spiritual energy because a primary woman is relaying
spiritual energy between him and the secondary women.
It will be natural for him to think that he should be able to develop
some sort of a positive relationship with them.
After
a woman she likes to reap where she doesn’t sow (a rough woman) embarrasses
the vulnerable guy in a group situation he might try to make friends with her
hoping that by being nice to her he might be able to prevent her from
embarrassing him in the future. But
he needs to realize that the secondary woman who likes to reap where she
doesn’t sow knows that the vulnerable guy’s relationship with her is based
on a primary woman relaying the vulnerable guy’s spiritual energy to her.
This secondary woman who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow knows that
the vulnerable guy’s family created a fantasy about him that said he was
capable of normal spiritual exchanges with other people.
When he gets to know her she will try to make him feel that the fantasy
that was created by the vulnerable guy’s family was correct and that he really
is capable of normal exchanges of spiritual energy with other people.
She will try to lead him into thinking that she will not want to hurt him
anymore because she and the vulnerable guy are now spiritually connected.
When
the rough secondary woman who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow eventually
embarrasses the vulnerable guy again in another group situation the vulnerable
guy might start to think that there never was a spiritual connection between
himself and the secondary woman who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow.
The vulnerable guy needs to realize that spiritual connections do exist
between him and other people all of the time.
One of the side effects of the vulnerable guy’s lack of awareness of
his spirituality is that it is easy for people such as the rough secondary woman
who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow to embarrass him.
The rough woman knows that people tend to transfer the exchanges of
spiritual energy that they had with people who they knew in the past to people
who they know in the present. The
rough woman knows that people such as the vulnerable guy also tend to transfer
their exchanges of spiritual energy from people who they knew in the past to
people who they know in the present. When
a vulnerable guy meets a rough woman who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow
he will transfer to her the spiritual energy exchanges that he had in the past
with other rough women who like to reap where they don’t sow.
The
vulnerable guy might have developed a pattern of trying to be nice to women who
were mean to him to try to stop them from hurting him.
He might have met several women during his life who pretended that they
liked him for a short period of time. These
women would gain his confidence by being nice to him for a short period of time
and then would once again embarrass him in front of a group of other people.
During the period of time when the rough woman who likes to reap where
she doesn’t sow is being nice to the vulnerable guy, the people who are
observing what is happening will think that maybe the vulnerable guy must be
kind of rough too because the rough woman is acting as if she really likes the
vulnerable guy. The people watching
what is happening know that the rough woman would not want to get involved with
a guy who was not rough.

Throughout
the primary woman’s life, when she was in these situations where a rough woman
was temporarily being nice to a vulnerable guy, she had assumed that the rough
woman was attracted to the vulnerable guy’s roughness.
The primary woman had fantasized many times about how it might feel to
get deeply involved with one of these rough guys.
So she tries to get to know him better.
When she does all of those fantasies start coming back to her.
But as things get more serious she will be disappointed because he is not
satisfying her need for a rough guy in the way that she thought he would be able
to do. She can’t figure out why
the passion died so quickly. The
problem was that the primary woman had based her fantasies on a fantasy, not on
reality.
The
rough women who like to reap where they don’t sow enjoy being with vulnerable
guys not because they like the vulnerable guy but because they know that the
false sense of security that they are giving the vulnerable guy will hurt him
when the rough woman eventually pulls the plug and starts to embarrass him once
again. But these rough women might
be surprised to learn that what they did changed the vulnerable guy’s life. When
a primary woman gets involved with a vulnerable guy because she was misled into
thinking that he might be rough, she will increase the amount of spiritual
energy that she is exchanging with him. But
due to the fact that she was originally only serving as a relay point between
the vulnerable guy and secondary women who she knew, she will not be able to
exchange spiritual energy directly with the vulnerable guy.

____________________________________________________________________________

The
primary woman knows that the vulnerable guy had previously thought of her as
being superficial but now that he has had a brief fling with her she knows that
he can sense at a very deep level that he is exchanging his spiritual energy
with her through the Collective Subconscious using secondary women as a relay
point. The problem that the
vulnerable guy faces is that even though he has now exchanged his spiritual
energy with a primary woman, he is not able to develop a relationship with a
primary woman directly. The
vulnerable guy’s relationships with the primary woman are based on the fact
that secondary women are serving as a relay point between him and the primary
woman. Now when he meets a new
primary woman he will run into the same problem that he had previously with
secondary women. The primary woman
might be upset with him for starting an emotional involvement with her and then
not following through (and failing to develop either a friendship or a
relationship with her).

The
vulnerable guy will obviously have a lack of spiritual energy and he will have
trouble relating to other people because they will think that he is different
from them. But early in his life the
vulnerable guy might meet someone in his family’s immediate community who is
similar to the rough woman in our example. She
will act like she is becoming friends with the vulnerable guy but she will just
be setting him up. The people in the
family’s immediate community (including the vulnerable guy’s family members)
will think that she would not like the vulnerable guy unless she thought that he
was rough. When she ends the
relationship with him and people ask her the reason why, she will create a
fantasy that says that he was too rough for her. The
people observing the situation will start to think that the vulnerable guy is
rough.
Because
of his experience with the rough woman the vulnerable guy might develop a
spiritual identity as being a person who is rough.
At this point it will become easier for the vulnerable guy’s family to
give other people the impression that the vulnerable guy was given an equal role
in his family. Now that he has been
given a spiritual identity, it will appear to other people that he is living in
a real world. Other people will now
sense that the vulnerable guy’s family is exchanging spiritual energy with
him, but it will only be a very practical sort of spiritual exchange.
The family might be criticized by people who can sense that the family
has only formed a practical spiritual connection with the vulnerable guy so the
family will create a fantasy that says that the vulnerable guy is living in a
real spiritual world but that he is just afraid to develop his emotions.
The
vulnerable guy will only be able to form practical relationships with other
people but his family will try to avoid criticism by convincing other people
that their fantasy about the vulnerable guy’s fear of developing his emotions
is true. As the vulnerable guy moves
away from his family he will run into a different type of a problem when he
tries to develop relationships with other people.
As the vulnerable guy transfers his relationships from his family to new
people who he meets, those new people might think that his practical emotions
are stronger than appropriate. This
will confuse the vulnerable guy because his family had told him that he should
try to further develop his emotions. It
will not occur to him that his family knew that he could only develop practical
emotions and they did not tell him.

The
vulnerable guy liked the fact that he was at least exchanging some spiritual
energy with other people and that for this reason he knew what other people were
thinking at a deep, subconscious level. But
he did not like the fact that his spiritual identity was that of a person who
was even rougher than a rough woman who gave him a spiritual identify that was
designed to hurt him and not to make him stronger.
The
vulnerable guy will naturally try to develop better relationships with other
people but he needs to remember that the fantasy spiritual world created for him
by other people was created for their benefit, and not for his benefit.
He is vulnerable because the people who created his fantasy spiritual
world will only keep his fantasy spiritual world alive for as long as it
benefits them personally. If the
vulnerable guy were to try to change his spiritual identity to match what his
true feelings are, people such as the rough woman who gave him his spiritual
identity might start to make him feel very uncomfortable to discourage him in
his attempts to break free from the fantasy world that they helped him to
create. Even though these people
gave him a false spiritual identity, they are part of his thought processes and
they could hurt him if they started to put a lot of pressure on him.
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Copyright Don Bergquist 2012