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Most of us feel that we have a pretty good idea as to what is right and what is wrong, and we are usually not afraid to express our opinions about what we consider to be right and what we consider to be wrong.  How can we be so sure that we are right about an issue when the guy who lives down the block from us is so sure that we are wrong about the same issue?  The guy who lives down the block began a socialization process of automatically exchanging his subconscious spiritual thoughts and feelings with other people through the Collective Subconscious early in life.  We also began the same socialization process early in life.  How can our opinions be so different?  Even though we were each developing spiritual links with other people as we were growing up, we were not developing our spiritual links with the same people.

The people who we developed our spiritual links with became an important part of our thought processes.  They became like a conscience telling us what was right and what was wrong.  Whenever we would express our opinions about an issue, we would feel that we were being “watched” and that we were being supported by these people who we were spiritually linked to.  And the guy who lived down the block also felt that he was being “watched” and that he was being supported by the people who he was spiritually linked to.  We did not feel that we were living in a fantasy world and the guy down the block did not feel that he was living in a fantasy world.  Our spiritual connections with the people who we were spiritually linked to were very real and very dynamic and those spiritual connections were a very important part of our reality.  And the spiritual connections of the guy down the block were very real and very dynamic to him.  Those spiritual connections were a very important part of his reality.  We lived on the same block as the other guy but we lived in different worlds.

There are a lot of vulnerable people in our physical world who do not consider their spiritual connections with other people to be an important part of their reality.  When a vulnerable guy (or a vulnerable girl) hears other people talking about parallel worlds and parallel realities they have no idea what those people are talking about.  And when those people go on to tell the vulnerable guy that he is living in a fantasy world he will probably think to himself that his fantasies are nowhere near as ridiculous as fantasies about parallel worlds.  In order for the vulnerable guy to understand the nature of his relationships with other people it might be useful for him to understand how he might have been forced into a situation where he is only living in a fantasy world while most of the other people who he meets are living in real worlds.  This sort of thing might happen if a vulnerable guy was only given a limited role in his family.

 

When a vulnerable guy starts to develop relationships with people outside of his family, the people who he meets will be confused.  Due to the fact that they believe the family’s fantasy that the vulnerable guy is living in a real spiritual world (and not a fantasy world), they will wonder why they are only able to develop a very practical and very limited type of a relationship with him. 

Most people who the vulnerable guy meets develop a deep set of emotions (which is the most important part of their soul).  They also develop a practical set of emotions.  An example of a person using their practical emotions might be a car saleswoman merging the practical part of her soul with the souls of her customers for the purpose of getting them to buy an automobile from her.  When a customer comes into the car dealership she tries to build rapport with that customer by developing a practical sort of spiritual attachment with them.  After creating this spiritual attachment she will be exchanging subconscious spiritual thoughts and feelings with the customer.  She might allow the customers to take a test drive with the car.  One customer who takes a test drive will take the car out into the country to see how fast it will go.  Another customer will use the car to pick up their kids after school.  When the customers come back and the saleswoman realizes that the test drive has helped them to overcome their doubts about the car, she will be happy that they want to buy the car but she will not know where they took the car on the test drive.  But even though she does not know consciously where the customer took the car on the test drive she might know at a deep subconscious level where the customer took the car and she might know what the customer was thinking during the test drive because of the practical spiritual attachment that she formed with the customer when the customer walked into the car dealership.

The saleswoman is living in one real spiritual world (or spiritual reality) and her customer is living in another, different real spiritual world.  When people relate to other people who are from different real spiritual worlds they use practical spiritual connections.  The relationship cannot really develop into anything further because the basis of the relationship is false.  It is not based on strong emotions.  The vulnerable guy who we have been discussing has exchanges of spiritual energy with other people that are similar to those of the saleswoman.  The saleswoman has exchanges of spiritual energy with her customers at a very deep level, but it is a temporary sort of a spiritual exchange that will not lead to a relationship.  And the vulnerable guy also has exchanges of spiritual energy with other people that do not lead to a relationship.

 

We allow those myths to go deep into our souls because the myths come into us in a magical way (through the automatic exchange of subconscious spiritual energy with other people through the Collective Subconscious).  For this reason, if a vulnerable guy meets a woman who is only merging the practical part of her soul with him, there will be quite a bit going on.  The woman who the vulnerable guy meets is also exchanging her spiritual energy through the Collective Subconscious with other people who she knows.  A lot of vulnerable guys might have gotten into a pattern where they are interfacing with a woman (who we will call a “primary woman”) who is only merging the practical part of her soul with the vulnerable guy.  The primary woman is relaying the spiritual energy that she picks up from the vulnerable guy to other women who she knows (who we will call “secondary women”) through the Collective Subconscious.  And the primary woman might also be relaying the spiritual energy of the secondary women who she knows to the vulnerable guy through the Collective Subconscious.  The vulnerable guy might be picking up some strong emotional feelings because he can sense that there is a magical exchange of spiritual energy taking place between him and the secondary women.  The secondary women are receiving the vulnerable guy’s spiritual energy and the vulnerable guy is receiving their spiritual energy.

 

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The vulnerable guy has only limited exchanges of spiritual energy with other people.  For this reason, the vulnerable guy is not usually aware of the exchanges of spiritual energy that go on between him and other people.  But when he meets a primary woman such as the one in the example given above, he is able to pick up spiritual energy from her.  But he isn’t really impressed by the exchanges of spiritual energy between him and the primary woman because he knows that she treats him in a very superficial sort of a manner (she treats him no differently than she treats most of the other people who she knows).  But he does sense that she is serving as a relay point between him and some of the women who the primary woman is acquainted with.

 

The problem that the vulnerable guy faces is that even though he is exchanging his spiritual energy with these secondary women, he is not able to develop a relationship with any of the secondary women directly.  The vulnerable guy’s relationships with the secondary women are based on the fact that the primary woman is serving as a relay point between him and the secondary women.  The secondary women might become angry with him.  They might think that he started an emotional involvement with them and then did not follow through and failed to develop a relationship with them.  The secondary women do not realize that the vulnerable guy’s relationships with them require the involvement of a primary woman.

The emotional involvements that the vulnerable guy develops with the secondary women seem magical to him because he can sense that the primary woman is relaying his spiritual energy through the Collective Subconscious to the secondary women who she knows and that she is also relaying the spiritual energy of the secondary women who she knows to him through the Collective Subconscious.  Because the vulnerable guy has never experienced strong exchanges of spiritual energy with other people, these exchanges of spiritual energy seem to be magical to him.  Other people can tell that the vulnerable guy is more involved with the secondary women than he is with the primary woman, but they also believe the fantasy that was created by the vulnerable guy’s family.  Because other people (including the primary woman and the secondary women) believe the fantasy created by the vulnerable guy’s family saying that he is capable of developing deep relationships, they assume that he is being foolish for not further developing the relationships that he has started with the secondary women.  But there are a few other people who understand what is going on.

There is an old saying that you reap what you sow.  But there are a lot of people who don’t like the idea that you have to work at planting seeds if you want to have a harvest.  A lot of people prefer to reap where they don’t sow.  Most people believe the fantasy about the vulnerable guy that was created by his family, but there are some people who can see through the deception.  The people who like to reap where they don’t sow know that the vulnerable guy does not want to get into another situation where he gets to know a group of people and the end result is that the primary woman is mad because she thinks that he has been leading her friends on emotionally and the secondary women are mad at the vulnerable guy because they feel that he has been leading them on.  The ones who like to reap where they don’t sow know that the vulnerable guy’s emotions are not strong, but they also know that he gets very nervous when he feels that he is getting involved in a situation where a new primary woman is going to relay his emotions to secondary women who she knows and where the end result is going to be that everybody will be upset with him. 

The people who like to reap where they don’t sow will watch very carefully when the vulnerable guy starts to get to know a new group of people.  They will see that the vulnerable guy is exchanging some spiritual energy with the primary woman and with the secondary women.  The ones who like to reap where they don’t sow might start a rumor saying that the vulnerable guy wants to get involved with the primary woman.  The people who start this type of rumor know that it will make the primary woman angry and it will make the secondary women angry.  The vulnerable guy will get nervous when he senses that these people are becoming angry with him.  At this point the people who like to reap where they don’t sow will try to make everybody think that the rumor is true by pointing out to everyone that the vulnerable guy’s face is turning red.  They will say that he is obviously embarrassed because what they said was true.  When this happens people will start to think that the rumor must be true.  They will misinterpret the vulnerable guy’s response. 

When the people in the group see the vulnerable guy’s face turn red they are seeing a combination of his weak emotions towards the various women involved mixed with the feelings of frustration and panic that he feels whenever people try to create a fantasy about him that is not true.  There are two reasons why the vulnerable guy panics when he gets involved in this sort of a situation.  The first reason he panics is that he knows that it is now going to be hard for him to make friends with this new group of people.  Now that they believe something about him that is not true, it will be hard for him to form any genuine relationships with these people.  The vulnerable guy also panics because he knows that what has just happened will make it harder for him to form good relationships with other people in the future.

The people who like to reap where they don’t sow (and who take advantage of people who are vulnerable) can become just as important (or maybe even more important) to the spiritual and psychological development of the vulnerable guy as the people who the vulnerable guy actually forms relationships with.  The vulnerable guy might eventually come to an awareness that his relationships with secondary women are based on his interfacing with a primary woman who relays his spiritual energy to secondary women who she knows.  But the vulnerable guy also needs to be aware that some of the secondary women who he meets might also be women who like to reap where they don’t sow.

The problem that the vulnerable guy faces when he is dealing with secondary women who like to reap where they don’t sow is that he can sense at a very deep level that there is a magical exchange of spiritual energy taking place between him and these secondary women.  He will sense this exchange of spiritual energy because a primary woman is relaying spiritual energy between him and the secondary women.  It will be natural for him to think that he should be able to develop some sort of a positive relationship with them. 

After a woman she likes to reap where she doesn’t sow (a rough woman) embarrasses the vulnerable guy in a group situation he might try to make friends with her hoping that by being nice to her he might be able to prevent her from embarrassing him in the future.  But he needs to realize that the secondary woman who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow knows that the vulnerable guy’s relationship with her is based on a primary woman relaying the vulnerable guy’s spiritual energy to her.  This secondary woman who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow knows that the vulnerable guy’s family created a fantasy about him that said he was capable of normal spiritual exchanges with other people.  When he gets to know her she will try to make him feel that the fantasy that was created by the vulnerable guy’s family was correct and that he really is capable of normal exchanges of spiritual energy with other people.  She will try to lead him into thinking that she will not want to hurt him anymore because she and the vulnerable guy are now spiritually connected.

When the rough secondary woman who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow eventually embarrasses the vulnerable guy again in another group situation the vulnerable guy might start to think that there never was a spiritual connection between himself and the secondary woman who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow.  The vulnerable guy needs to realize that spiritual connections do exist between him and other people all of the time.  One of the side effects of the vulnerable guy’s lack of awareness of his spirituality is that it is easy for people such as the rough secondary woman who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow to embarrass him.  The rough woman knows that people tend to transfer the exchanges of spiritual energy that they had with people who they knew in the past to people who they know in the present.  The rough woman knows that people such as the vulnerable guy also tend to transfer their exchanges of spiritual energy from people who they knew in the past to people who they know in the present.  When a vulnerable guy meets a rough woman who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow he will transfer to her the spiritual energy exchanges that he had in the past with other rough women who like to reap where they don’t sow. 

The vulnerable guy might have developed a pattern of trying to be nice to women who were mean to him to try to stop them from hurting him.  He might have met several women during his life who pretended that they liked him for a short period of time.  These women would gain his confidence by being nice to him for a short period of time and then would once again embarrass him in front of a group of other people.  During the period of time when the rough woman who likes to reap where she doesn’t sow is being nice to the vulnerable guy, the people who are observing what is happening will think that maybe the vulnerable guy must be kind of rough too because the rough woman is acting as if she really likes the vulnerable guy.  The people watching what is happening know that the rough woman would not want to get involved with a guy who was not rough. 

The rough woman knows that the vulnerable guy has spiritual connections with other people but that he is not usually aware of those spiritual connections.  By being nice to him for a short period of time she helps him to develop the spiritual links that he has but that are too weak for him to usually be aware of.  But then just about the time that the vulnerable guy starts to become aware of his spiritual links the rough woman stops being nice to him.  The people who have been observing the situation will ask her why she stopped the relationship that appeared to be developing between the rough woman and the vulnerable guy.  The rough woman will at this point create a fantasy about the vulnerable guy that says that the vulnerable guy was too rough for her.  She gets away with this because when she was nice to the vulnerable guy, it made people think that the vulnerable guy must be rough.

 

Throughout the primary woman’s life, when she was in these situations where a rough woman was temporarily being nice to a vulnerable guy, she had assumed that the rough woman was attracted to the vulnerable guy’s roughness.  The primary woman had fantasized many times about how it might feel to get deeply involved with one of these rough guys.  So she tries to get to know him better.  When she does all of those fantasies start coming back to her.  But as things get more serious she will be disappointed because he is not satisfying her need for a rough guy in the way that she thought he would be able to do.  She can’t figure out why the passion died so quickly.  The problem was that the primary woman had based her fantasies on a fantasy, not on reality.

The rough women who like to reap where they don’t sow enjoy being with vulnerable guys not because they like the vulnerable guy but because they know that the false sense of security that they are giving the vulnerable guy will hurt him when the rough woman eventually pulls the plug and starts to embarrass him once again.  But these rough women might be surprised to learn that what they did changed the vulnerable guy’s life.  When a primary woman gets involved with a vulnerable guy because she was misled into thinking that he might be rough, she will increase the amount of spiritual energy that she is exchanging with him.  But due to the fact that she was originally only serving as a relay point between the vulnerable guy and secondary women who she knew, she will not be able to exchange spiritual energy directly with the vulnerable guy.

 

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The primary woman knows that the vulnerable guy had previously thought of her as being superficial but now that he has had a brief fling with her she knows that he can sense at a very deep level that he is exchanging his spiritual energy with her through the Collective Subconscious using secondary women as a relay point.  The problem that the vulnerable guy faces is that even though he has now exchanged his spiritual energy with a primary woman, he is not able to develop a relationship with a primary woman directly.  The vulnerable guy’s relationships with the primary woman are based on the fact that secondary women are serving as a relay point between him and the primary woman.  Now when he meets a new primary woman he will run into the same problem that he had previously with secondary women.  The primary woman might be upset with him for starting an emotional involvement with her and then not following through (and failing to develop either a friendship or a relationship with her).

The new primary woman will probably not understand that the vulnerable guy cannot develop any sort of a relationship with her without the assistance of secondary women who serve as a relay point.  These secondary women send the vulnerable guy’s spiritual energy to the primary woman and they send the primary woman’s spiritual energy to the vulnerable guy.  The new primary woman will also not understand that the vulnerable guy cannot develop any sort of a relationship with her without the assistance of a rough secondary woman who embarrasses the vulnerable guy in front of a group of other people, and who then, after pretending to be friends with him for a short period of time, tells other people that she ended her relationship with him because he was too rough for her.

 

 

The vulnerable guy will obviously have a lack of spiritual energy and he will have trouble relating to other people because they will think that he is different from them.  But early in his life the vulnerable guy might meet someone in his family’s immediate community who is similar to the rough woman in our example.  She will act like she is becoming friends with the vulnerable guy but she will just be setting him up.  The people in the family’s immediate community (including the vulnerable guy’s family members) will think that she would not like the vulnerable guy unless she thought that he was rough.  When she ends the relationship with him and people ask her the reason why, she will create a fantasy that says that he was too rough for her. The people observing the situation will start to think that the vulnerable guy is rough. 

Because of his experience with the rough woman the vulnerable guy might develop a spiritual identity as being a person who is rough.  At this point it will become easier for the vulnerable guy’s family to give other people the impression that the vulnerable guy was given an equal role in his family.  Now that he has been given a spiritual identity, it will appear to other people that he is living in a real world.  Other people will now sense that the vulnerable guy’s family is exchanging spiritual energy with him, but it will only be a very practical sort of spiritual exchange.  The family might be criticized by people who can sense that the family has only formed a practical spiritual connection with the vulnerable guy so the family will create a fantasy that says that the vulnerable guy is living in a real spiritual world but that he is just afraid to develop his emotions.

The vulnerable guy will only be able to form practical relationships with other people but his family will try to avoid criticism by convincing other people that their fantasy about the vulnerable guy’s fear of developing his emotions is true.  As the vulnerable guy moves away from his family he will run into a different type of a problem when he tries to develop relationships with other people.  As the vulnerable guy transfers his relationships from his family to new people who he meets, those new people might think that his practical emotions are stronger than appropriate.  This will confuse the vulnerable guy because his family had told him that he should try to further develop his emotions.  It will not occur to him that his family knew that he could only develop practical emotions and they did not tell him.

When the vulnerable guy who lives in a fantasy spiritual world tries to develop a relationship with a woman who is living in a real spiritual world, it will probably not become much more than a practical spiritual connection.  The relationship will have a false basis because the vulnerable guy’s fantasy world is based on a spiritual identify that was created about him by a rough woman who was using him.  When the rough woman took advantage of the vulnerable guy early in his life, she was not trying to give him a solid platform for developing relationships with other people.  And throughout the vulnerable guy’s life whenever people perpetuated the fantasy created by the rough woman for their own benefit, they were also not trying to help the vulnerable guy to develop better relationships with other people.

 

The vulnerable guy liked the fact that he was at least exchanging some spiritual energy with other people and that for this reason he knew what other people were thinking at a deep, subconscious level.  But he did not like the fact that his spiritual identity was that of a person who was even rougher than a rough woman who gave him a spiritual identify that was designed to hurt him and not to make him stronger. 

The vulnerable guy will naturally try to develop better relationships with other people but he needs to remember that the fantasy spiritual world created for him by other people was created for their benefit, and not for his benefit.  He is vulnerable because the people who created his fantasy spiritual world will only keep his fantasy spiritual world alive for as long as it benefits them personally.  If the vulnerable guy were to try to change his spiritual identity to match what his true feelings are, people such as the rough woman who gave him his spiritual identity might start to make him feel very uncomfortable to discourage him in his attempts to break free from the fantasy world that they helped him to create.  Even though these people gave him a false spiritual identity, they are part of his thought processes and they could hurt him if they started to put a lot of pressure on him.

We live in a world where there could be two people living on the same physical block who live in different real worlds and two other people who live on the same physical block who live in different fantasy worlds.  We should remember that there are many challenges today for those of us who live in real worlds and there are also many challenges for those of us who live in fantasy worlds.

 

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     Copyright Don Bergquist 2012