Copyright ©: 2002 NFKA

Chuck on the warpath

May 2002 NFKA Saloon Report

From: Thomas Humphrey <>
Subject: [FK] Official May NFKA Meet Report
Date: Sun, 19 May 2002 18:37:25 -0700

Saloon Brawl at Fort Flagler

  Saturday's NFKA fly was held at Fort Flagler, in an open field with a good view of Admiralty Inlet and Port Townsend in the distance.   Though rain sometimes threatened, it never arrived, and the conditions were variable winds from 3-8 mph all afternoon, averaging about 5mph.   Eight competitors arrived and agreed on a round robin with three points per match, winner determined by total points.   The competition was extremely close, with six out of eight flyers getting at least 10 points.   The competition resembled nothing so much as a Hollywood "B" movie Western saloon brawl, with colorful characters and wild action.

Fights in progress Fights in progress

John, Ed2, Rich & Chuck

  Ed Haynes, in the role of the surly barkeeper, grabbed his Lambert Huntin' Dog and the shotgun behind the bar and vaulted into the action, only to be knocked cold by some unnamed extra with a chair from behind.   Clearly, his aggressive tactics inspire fear and loathing from all involved.   Ya gotta watch that guy!

  "Texas" Larry Walker, in the role of the gimpy sherrif's deputy, waded in with a loud clearphane fighter - and since we all heard him coming, he didn't sneak up on the field.   He ended up being thrown over the bar into the mirror and rows of whiskey bottles.   We found out later he wasn't unconscious, but lying back there out of sight swilling the local rotgut.

Larry is up against John John and Rich attempt to adjust a delta John vs. Godzilla

  Richard Hurd, in the role of the riverboat gambler with four aces and a derringer up his sleeve, attacked us with his "Hello Honey" kite, which flies well, but has been offending the eyes of NFKA flyers since 1999 with its intentionally ugly graphic.   He had a hot start, but was chatting with bystanders instead of concentrating on his flying, and ended up knocked out under a table with cards, ugly kite and derringer strewn around him.

  John MacKenzie, in the role of the the crazy old prospector, hitched his mule with the carbon rods, bamboo and orcon outside, pulled out a volenteen, and walked into the meelee.   He ended up flying back out through the swinging doors and landing in the water trough outside.

A long shot The tip of Eds vented fighter

  Brian Johnsen, in the role of the honky-tonk piano player, pulled out a mylar Falcon kite and proceeded to blackjack anyone who came in range while keeping up a bouncy tune.   He was finally dropped by a flying whisky bottle, and didn't fully recover until he had a big plate of sushi and a large sake in Port Townsend with the Humphreys that evening.

  Tom Humphrey, in the role of Captain Parmenter from "F-Troop", drew his Saber kite and waded in to restore order, only to be hurled back outside through the plate glass window and into the street, where he passed out without getting any help from Sargent O'Rourke, Corporal Agarn, or Calamity Jane.

Fights in progress More matches

  Ed Alden, in the role of the Sheriff in his white ten-gallon hat, white vest, and furry white chaps, walked in with his vented mylar techno-fighter and proceeded to restore order, except for one other mighty competitor.

  Chuck Lund, in a black hat and dusty poncho in the role of the gunslinger with no name, stood toe to toe with sheriff Alden, carrying his mylar kite with butterflies printed on it and asking if Ed thought it was funny!   Since they were tied for first, and it was high noon anyway, Chuck and Ed settled it with a best of three gunfight outside.   Chuck, doing his best Clint Eastwood imitation, gunned down Ed two to nothing to claim the title.   With grins on our faces, we wrapped up the days shooting soon after.   Cut, and Print it!

Taking a break to discuss things

Tom, Chuck, Ed1   The final results: First Place, Chuck Lund - with 16 points and a 2-0 fly off win (announcing this is getting repetitive, isn't it?).   Second Place, Ed Alden with 16 points and a sportsmanlike performance in the fly-off.   Third Place, Tom Humphrey with 14 points.

  What a great time! We all had good fun, fellowship and many grins. Next time though, we need someone to fill the John Wayne role and take on Chuck fair and square in a legendary kite fight! Any takers?

  -This month's cinematographer and unofficial scribe.

  Now this is the Law of the Jungle - as old and as true as the sky;   and the wolf that shall keep it may prosper, but the wolf that shall break it must die.   -Rudyard Kipling, from   _The Jungle Book_