My Religious Beliefs

My beliefs are in a state of constant flux and revision so if I write something a week from now that is different, it only means that I've changed my mind about something. I don't feel like my beliefs are complete and they really are in a pretty heavy state of flux.

But as I mentioned in a previous post, I would consider myself an unorthodox Christian. Here is why.

I believe God and his creation (us, the entire universe) are not separate either from God in absolute terms, though I do think we build a kind of psychic barrier, or from each other. So in the end, whatever we do to each other we are also doing to ourselves.

I believe that because of our own embarrassment over harm we've done others or to protect ourselves from perceived harm, we build a kind of psychic barrier that cuts us off from each other and God.

I believe the story of Genesis involves the building of this barrier. The fig leaf, the hiding from God, is, like most of the Bible, symbolic, it's not the nakedness in a physical sense. It's being exposed emotionally that we are uncomfortable with.

Now there are some people throughout history who have been able to tear that barrier down. They have only been able to do so by leading absolutely exemplary life, treating everyone and everything with love and respect, and I believe these people were exceedingly rare, and Jesus went farther than any others in being willing to sacrifice his life.

Because of this I think Jesus was more connected, perfectly so, and that that is what is meant by the reference to Jesus as the Son of God. We are all sons of God, but the rest of us are isolated, because of our own sins.

The connectivity, if it existed, we would all communicate with each other perfectly, we'd feel what each other felt, know each others thoughts, and that's why we build this barrier, that is too frightening.

Further, we'd see everything in terms of the whole, and greed, and disrespect for the environment and other life forms, and all sorts of other problems wouldn't exist.

But the reality is that we are isolated, and we can't lower that barrier unless we can feel that when our sins are known we will still be loved. That can't happen without forgiveness, and there I think was the true message of Jesus.

Jesus was not, I'll die for you so you can be a massive screw-up and it's ok, Jesus was, I'm setting an example for you, you must be willing to forgive others even up to including those who would take your very life, and you must be willing to give it for each other.

The thing too is that we can only do our own part, and that's hard. We're all connected, so we all sink or swim together. We can only do the best we can and try to love others and try to forgive.

I believe this was what the message of Jesus was, prior to the Council of Nicea. Prior to the council, exactly what was meant by "Son of God", was not universally agreed to between churches, and that was one of the things the council, by decree, settled. But I don't believe they settled it correctly, I believe they settled for an agreement that would give the church the most power.

That's just my take and it might be different next week. But as we approach Easter, I think it's worth considering. When you think about Christ, nailed to a cross, waiting to die, and having done so willingly, think about what you think was intended. Just accept a gift, or accept a responsibility that goes with it, to forgive others.

Now all that said, it feels like to me that with all the evil that's in my heart, not to say all evil, there is some good there too, but the evil, can it be purged without ending my own existence?

I know the final outcome, when thy kingdom come, there will be no room for evil. And I want that kingdom to come but I do fear it may mean the death of me.

Now this part of my religious beliefs relate to Christianity fairly directly but not in an orthodox manner. Still, more different is that not only do I not believe we are separate from each other at the fundamental level, but we're not separate from God either except for this barrier we put up.

In the beginning there was the word. In the beginning there was no planets, no atmosphere, nothing to write on, so what is meant by "the word"? I think it meant intent. It was God's thought, God's intent, and that's all that was needed for everything to come into existence. But I don't believe God's intent created everything, I believe God's intent >is< everything.

There is a lot I don't understand though, I won't pretend otherwise, and it's all that I don't understand that is the reason I remain flexible and still revise my beliefs.

The whole free-will explanation that mainstream Christians give as the explanation for why suffering must exist, sorry it makes no sense to me. I do believe that most suffering is self-induced, but we seem driven to induce that suffering. I don't understand why that is but I'm certain it's true.

Anyway those are my thoughts on my religious views, not entirely complete but then my beliefs aren't entirely complete.

Now, with Easter coming up, how did symbols of fertility, rabbits known for their proclivity for rapid reproduction, and eggs, come to be associated with the death and resurrection of Christ? And why would a bunny want to steal and hide chicken eggs? Rabbits and chickens occupy such different ecological niches that I wouldn't think there would be much competition between them.

Life Experiment

I am trying a seemingly minor experiment in my life. The experiment is very simple. Always, when I go to bed, before I go to sleep I say prayers. My prayers include the Lords Prayer, and a little one that I learned as a child asking God to take my soul if I should die in my sleep, and then one about life's present concern usually asking guidance.

Now when I was young, it seemed like prayers were answered, maybe not right away, but sometimes they were right away. But they always seemed to be answered, occasionally the answer was "no" however. And example of a "no" being when my father moved out. I prayed for his return but it didn't happen.

But in my later years as an adult the general trends in my life seem to have not been positive. It occurred to me that maybe it's because of when I pray. After the day is done, when I'm going to sleep, and then by the morning what I asked has been forgotten about and no longer in my heart or head.

So I'm trying an experiment, and that is to say the Lord's prayer in the morning, and try to think about what it means throughout the day. The idea being to keep it present with me and hopes that will help me find direction.

Now my religious views are kind of strange, I would consider myself an unorthodox Christian, in as much as I believe Christ was real, but my perceptions of Christ and what was intended by his presence here are not congruent with mainstream Christianity. I'll elaborate that is a separate post.

Sadistic God?

Last night Art Bell had Maurice Cotterell as a guest on Coast to Coast AM.

His theories are many but one in particular is that through suffering we purify our hearts, and by purifying our hearts we allow the impurities of our soul to "drain out" through our hearts, and then we can return to God with a pure soul where he uses that pure energy to grow.

I believe in my heart this not to be true. I don't want to believe in a sadistic God for it would leave little purpose to life.

Sometimes the circumstances of my own life and those that I care about though make me wonder. I can't feel as rock solid about that as I would like.

Every night before I sleep I say the lords prayer. I keep trying to remember that prayers are not always answered instantly.

On the plus side, Maurice Cotterel also believes that the sun causes schizophrenia and I guess that would explain why Seattle, the city with the least sunshine of any major city in the continental United States, is such a sane place. Thank God the Aurora bridge is here, because if it were some place like, oh, Phoenix, the body count would doubtlessly be tremendous.

God's Plan

I wonder if we did everything right, if we loved our fellow man, and all living creatures, and all of God's creation, and we loved Jesus and God, and never sinned, if we did all of these things would there still be human suffering?

Right now if we look at our world, we can see that much human suffering is of human origin. The starvation in Africa for example, enough food is grown world wide to feed everything but it's not distributed where it's needed.

All the people who have died or been mutilated in war, the people we killed in Viet Nam, Cambodia, and Laos to prevent communism from dominoing, (and what exactly would have happened if it had), or the people who have died in Iraq for oil company profits, suffering that didn't need to be.

At home all the cancer deaths that have resulted from various preventable things, cigarettes, bad food additives, and alll of the disease we could cure or at least better managed if the resources weren't wasted on are constitutes another huge group of preventable suffering.

I guess the big question I'm trying to get at, Does Gods plan require human suffering?

If we did everything according to God's plan, would we still have earthquakes, hurricanes, tornadoes, tsunamis, forest fires, and other natural disasters? And if we did would they still harm us or would we somehow get out of the way?

The dreams I see of a changed earth in the Pacific Northwest, there are always two versions, and one version there is a lot of suffering, and the other changes still occur but they're gradual, gentle, give us warning to get out of the way and avoid harm.