The W4M category is sort of special and there are some details to know to post there successfully. This document is largely intended for those posting LTR ads but there may be some hints for those posting in other W4M categories as well.
First off ladies, guys really do think with their crotches. This makes the category an irresistible target for the porn site and dating site spammers and various credit card scammers. In order to fight this and help the readers that don't want this junk, the flag thresholds are pretty low most of the time. This makes it easier to flag off the spam. But it also makes it easier for the Richards to flag off your legit ad. The only thing to be done about it is to write a VERY good ad.
Many of the spam/scam posts look just like ordinary legit ads. But if you reply to one you get a spam email advertising some dating site (or worse). This really pisses the guys off. Other spam posts are more obvious. Like the ad has a picture of some scrawny model with a blatant sexual come-on. The guys who answer get the same spam email but they're twice as pissed off because they knew better. That woman is NOT going to be posting a personal ad to get a date. She'll be dating one of her fellow models or the photographer or some rich guy. This results in the guys being pretty trigger happy about spam posts and a lot of times they will flag if something even smells suspicious (like the picture is too good looking or the ad is too sexual).
Because of all this it is important to keep it real. Really real. Ads that are not seen as 'believable' draw flags. One of those little facts of life is that by your age the beautiful people are all hitched to other beautiful people. The people that can get dates easily among their co-workers or activity partners or through their church groups are pretty much doing that. People with killer flirting skills have their pick of the eligible bachelors in the vegetable isle, never mind any bar. Yet posting in the personals you have a couple of paragraphs and perhaps a photo or two and that's it. You need to convey not only that you are interesting/desirable but also that you are an actual person and not a come-on for some dating site. This can take good writing skills and careful attention to exactly how you are coming across. Nobody knows you, your words and perhaps a picture are all you have.
It can be helpful to "anchor" an ad. This means mentioning some local area or perhaps a local event. This is because the way some scammers work is to scrape an ad off one site and repost it on another site. This move saves them having to write the ad and come up with a picture. Your "anchor" defeats this and makes the ad more "real".
If you get no replies at all, check your spam folders.
Again, alway use the CL email relay system. Putting your phone or email in an ad makes it look like a scam. Scammers try hard to get people to contact them outside the relay syatem.
As a side note; when the guys post their own ads they get a TON of porn and dating site spam in their inboxes. Some of it is pretty subtle and it takes a study of the email headers or other research to realize it's junk. This just adds to their frustration. It can make for a tough audience.
Some pointers:
Make sure you posted in W4M. This is a simple mistake to make---and to fix. LTR is not NSA. You want to pick the area you are posting in with care and make sure your ad matches your intents. If you have doubts, read through the category you are thinking about and see if the other ads are like the one you are thinking of doing. For casual sex post in Casual encounters, for FWB probably post in Misc. Romance.
Beware overposting. Any ad that is posted too frequently will draw fire. If you are on a smaller or slower moving site let the ad ride two weeks or more before reposting. The W4M categories tend to have a regular readership and once they have seen your ad---well, they've seen it. New people drop in less frequently but they will read back a long way. New people will also be searching by age. Alway post your age in the side box. And have faith. Letting the ad ride a month is not less effective then renewing every few days.
If you go asking for some uber-prince in your ad all you are going to do is make a lot of guys feel inadequate. Flagging your ad might make them feel better. Guys get tired of demanding women who want more than they have....especially if the woman doesn't seem to measure up to what she is asking for. If you can meet a nice guy that is decent company and you can make a friend figure you are ahead. Nice guys know other nice guys, y'know?
Keep it positive and up-beat. Nobody likes a negative, depressed or hostile (bitchy) date. Guys have had it up to here with those attitudes (and are often blissfully unaware of how often they act the same way). Usually they can't do anything about it. But they can flag your ad. Lists of do-not-wants can be very hazardous to your ad's lifespan. Every single one of them is going to piss off the people it fits. They will flag your ad. To keep your ad up you really do have to consider all those guys you are NOT interested in meeting. They WILL be reading your post and they have flag buttons.
Guys take a risk when they answer an ad (just like you do when you post one). It's called r-e-j-e-c-t-i-o-n. Guys want to feel confident that you'll let them down easy if they don't fit. Do remember that regular readership. Guys that have responded to your ad will be seeing it again---and they will remember how they were treated. Did they get ignored? As a rule ignore no one except obvious scammers. You do not need to ask guys to put something special in a headline. The scams are obvious and as long as you use the relay system (ALWAYS!) no one gets your email or anything else about you so an inadvertant reply will do no harm. Always let the guys you are not interested down easy. You can have an extremely polite "Thanks-but-no-thanks" reply ready to copy and paste. Spend time on it and make SURE it lets 'em down easy. You simply cannot make enemies.
Penis pics are a fact of life. If you are looking for a guy according to his penis they are an advantage. But if not, again, don't make enemies----and let 'em down easy. It can be terribly tempting to reply and say, "sorry, too small", but resist, The guy will be really pissed and can go back and flag your ad. Most of the guys sending penis pics to a LTR ad are exhibitionists wanting to show off their best friend wherever possible, or are just jerks who really believe woman want to see that first to be attracted to them. Do not put "no penis pics" (or some variation) in your ad. It can be VERy handy to know who the jerks are right up front. Just let 'em down easy and move on. Perhaps explain that while it looks like a very nice penis this isn't what you were planning on considering first when looking for a guy so you don't think the two of you would be compatible. Thanks for responding to my ad and good luck in your searches. Like that. Also remember you can flag offensive email that you recieve. There is a link at the bottom of the email. If enough women flag some guy his emails they won't be getting through anymore.
Stow the baggage. Related to the item above. Guys are not interested in your last break up, your ex, your bad experiences with guys (or even people responding to your ad). A smart guy avoids anyone on the "rebound"---they know they will just end up giving you hours of free therapy while you 'work it out'---and then you will move on to someone not associated with all the pain. Sleezeballs will figure you are vulnerable and maybe an easy lay. So leave it out.
The only acceptable picture is a current one of your smiling face. No flowers or sunsets (seen as deceptive), no pictures of you and your ex or you and some friends or you and your big, scary dog or, worst of all, you and your kids. (People can take major exception to children's pictures being posted on the net). Just a nice picture of you, smiling and clothed and taken within the last couple months. If you don't have one then skip the picture altogether. Remember that when a guy opens an ad with a "pic" or "img" callout next to it he expects to see a picture of you. He will immediately go to the bottom of the ad to check it out. It will always be your first real impression. Digital cameras take hundreds of pictures at a time for free. Get a good pic to use.
Saying that you won't provide a picture until you get one is unwise. This is the mark of the 'secret' dater (or maybe a control freak). Someone who doesn't want co-workers, or perhaps a current boyfriend, to know about the ad. If you expect a picture of someone then provide one first. It's your ad, you are taking the initiative. If your co-workers don't know you are looking then you aren't networking well. If you are looking to sneak around or have anything to be ashamed of then why would a guy want to go out with you? Or rather, why would a nice guy want to go out with you? At any rate it is very easy to come across as demanding or "off" with this move. Best avoided. Still there are a lot of reasons for not posting your picture out on the web. But you can always send it (first) by email to nice respondents. The thing is to lead the dance.
Some sort of physical description of yourself is appropriate. Women seem to like guys that are taller than they are. Guys want to be the taller one too---or at least level. Hard bodied gym rats don't tend to prefer soft bodied sofa seekers. This stuff is obvious (?) so don't leave it out. There are plenty of exceptions of course. But beware the weasel words ("curvy", "voluptuous", etc.). Each one of them will instantly be translated into something you wouldn't have said. So just state your height and weight and let it go at that. If you have an unusual build ("very muscular") you might mention it. A simple full height picture of you will be worth more than anything.
Shorter ads tend to work better. You might be looking for a guy who is a great reader but all the guys who don't read that well (which is a LOT of them--and many more are simply impatient) are going to feel frustrated and annoyed with your post. The epic work also increases the probability of saying the wrong thing. Think very short stories, vignettes even; not novels. Bear in mind that everything you say reveals something about you. Revealing too much too soon can be a turn off.
Sugar Daddy and Cheatin' ads often don't last long. Guys don't like to be thought of as wallets (those that do post their own ads). Looking for a married guy might avoid some diseases but he will come with marital troubles---and every guy that has ever been cheated on is going to have some issues with the ad.
Race matters to a lot of people and it is definitely something you want to declare, somehow, in your ad. You don't want people that aren't interested in dating your race to waste time responding to your ad, right? But when/if you express a preference, the keep-it-positive rule applies. "Seeking my beautiful black knight" is a lot different than "no fishbellies!". Of course your own picture says a lot.
Prejudice and hatred exist. Some people are jerks---and more. Another one of those facts of life. They may flag your ad if you belong to a race they have chosen to hate.
BBW. If you want to draw flags to your ad, describe yourself as BBW. Look, I'm fat. I know the score and so do you. A personal ad gives people a chance to get to know you a bit before they find your figure unattractive. You don't have this advantage in a bar. Yes, the guys really do want toned, sleek women. No, the guys are NOT toned and sleek themselves. But they want to dream. Don't pop their bubble. State your height and weight and let that do.
Aside from keeping an ad up, you also want it to work. You want it to reel in some potential dates that are rough matches for you in intelligence, attractiveness, interests, social class, etc. This can mean spending some time studying The Art. If you read through a bunch of ads you may be struck by how they all seem the same. You need to stand out (in a good way). Try Sharyn Wolfs Guerrilla Dating Tactics. It has a good chapter on writing effective personal ads. There are many other good resources out there. Read up.
For some general examples of stuff users flag go here. The discussion of The Long Shots may be helpful to personal ad posters. The link to W4M information comes back to this page.
. It has a good chapter on writing effective personal ads. There are many other good resources out there. Read up.