[This one came from the Lone Mavs' Forum (http://www.sportsonly.com/boards/mavs/) instead of rec.sport.basketball.pro, but I had to include it.] 12/6/01 by keven (kevin711@excite.com) Stars War Starring Dirk Nowitzki as Luke Skywalker Michael Finley as Anakin Skywalker Don Nelson as Yoda Mark Cuban as Jar Jar Binks Steve Nash as R2D2 Shawn Bradley as C3P0 Adrian Griffin as Obi Wan Kenobi Karl Malone as Han Solo Greg Ostertagg as Chewbaca Jerry Krause as Jabba the Hutt Juwan Howard as Queen Amidala Tim Hardaway as Mace Windu Shaquille Oneal as Darth Sidious Kobe Bryant as Darth Maul David Stern as Boss Nass Jason Kidd as Qui Gon Jinn Mugsy Bogues as Ewok, Wicket W. Warrick Michael Jordan as Lando Carlissian Pau Gasol as Princess Leia A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, lived a basketball team by the name of the Jedi Mavericks. Their wize, but weird leader was Yoda. He was a Master Jedi and strong in the force. He new many Jedi arts and gimmicks. Along for the ride was Jar Jar Binks. Jar Jar often got into mischief and was fined and eventually banished by Boss Nass. None the less, success somehow seemed to follow Binks inspite of his clumsiness and he became a general[manager]. Qui Gon Jinn was a Jedi Maverick for a short time. But the main accomplishment that Jinn did was to help bring Anakin Skywalker into the Jedi Maverick fold. Anakin Skywalker would be the chosen one to bring balance to the force by hitting the game winning shot in the 7th game of the finals and by also being the father of Luke Skywalker. You see, Luke is the love child of Anakin Skywalker and Queen Amidala. Occasionally the Queen is replaced by her bodyguard as an imposter queen. The imposter queen is a stiff and is totally ineffective. Hopefully the real Queen Amidala will come back soon, when the danger[trade] passes. Anyway, their child Luke is the true talent of the family. Luke is the greatest of all the Jedi Mavericks. Knowing that his son will be a greater Jedi then himself, Anakin turns to the dark side and becomes Darth Vader. The dark side puts him in a slump and he only comes back to the force when his son turns his father back to the light, so that Anakin can hit the game winner in the end. But first many things must take place and many must help. The small and lovable R2D2 will always be there. Totally under rated, without his help, the Jedi Mavericks will never bring balance to the force. Another droid by the name of C3P0 hangs around too. Considered incompetent by many, this skinny droid helps, even if only by accident. A key Jedi is Obi Wan Kenobi. He is the one who kills the evil Sith, Darth Maul. Obi Wan is older and wizer then many realize, as he helps Luke in the ways of the force. However, a key to destroying the Evil Empire is Darth Sidious. How to conquer this Master Sith is still unknown to this day. Eventually though, the Jedi Mavericks must get help elsewhere. The help comes from Han Solo and his partner Chewbaca. Solo is a smuggler and occasional jerk, but also talented and crafty. Chewbaca is mainly big and loud, but has been known to pick a fight with the evil Darth Sidious. Eventually, Han Solo and Chewbaca are aquired in a 3 team deal engineered by Jabba the Hutt. But it is extremely important to note that Solo and Chewie come to help the Jedi Mavericks for only 17,000 credits[1 number 1]. Remember that Jabba is a big fat idiot. Also helping the Jedi Mavericks is the Ewoks, led by Wicket W. Warrick, along with all the other little Ewok PG's. And also Mace Windu, the wize Master Jedi, who may not be as trustworthy as many believed. Time will tell on this. But have faith, balance will eventually come.