From: timmer96@atl.mindspring.com (Tim Lynch) Newsgroups: rec.sport.basketball.pro,alt.sports.basketball.nba.boston-celtics Subject: Walker (was Re: They called it ... ballhog love) Date: Sun, 12 Jul 1998 05:07:32 -0500 Organization: MindSpring Enterprises Message-ID: In article <6o46bb$opi$1@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, S_Knight@my-dejanews.com wrote: > Roger Williams wrote: > > > note the lovesick CozDMarbleSKnightBot's mooning and > > swooning over young kobo's Tiger Beat-ish antics. Brandy better not catch > > her with kobo, I tell ya. > > Pretty funny considering your swooning over Walker the biggest ballhog > in the league. Walker is at a crossroads. He is much like jordon was early in his career. The tragedy of jordon is analagous to the sad tale of Anakin Skywalker. If you'll recall Anakin was a cocky youth always shooting from the hip just as Jordan scored oodles and won nada (e.g. 63 points losing at Boston in '86) in the 80's. As he matured a bit Anakin began to study under the wise teachings of Yoda and displayed the makings of a legendary Jedi Knight. Similarly, Jordan's greatness looked incalcuable in 1989 playing point guard under the tuttelage of the wise Doug Collins as he showed the brilliance and completeness of the greatest guard perhaps since Oscar Robertson. The futures of each looked incredibly bright as each was poised to uphold all that was good and holy in the universe... Sadly, upon the mastery of their abilities they were each swayed to the dark side. Anakin was taken in by the Emperor and was quickly seduced by the dark side of the Force. He relished taking the easier road and became known as Darth Vader, a name that repulsed all who were oppressed by his evil deeds. In our times, David Stern, the evil Emperor of the NBA, approached Jordan with a proposal that turned him away from the light of goodness forever. Stern promised more expansion to break up the dominant 80's teams and unprecedented favoritism from the officials. In return he demanded that Jordan abandon the solid fundamentals so painstakingly instilled by Collins and concentrate solely on scoring and highlight film plays to fill up "Inside Stuff". Seeing an easy escape from Collins' demanding style he accepted the unholy deal and the rest is history. To those of us who strive to this day to promote and protect the sanctity of basketball he became known as the foolish, wretched, and ballhoggedly jordon. What does this all portend? Antoine "Sky" Walker, a son of Chicago (as Luke was the son of Vader), will grapple with the temptations of his Chicago ancestry and contemplate following jordon into the depths of ballhoggedliness. Only via the strong intervention of the master Pitino's teachings will Antoine persevere and remain on the true path in life. He will lead the young rebels from the Celtics (the Alliance who should rightfully rule the NBA) into the bastion of evil, the United Center. During the playoffs he will face jordon who will try to lure him into hogging the ball by dastardly trash talking. Emperor Stern will also tempt Antoine by calling him "The Man" and offering him the same fool's gold he presented jordon with a decade before. However, the handsome and powerful Ant will resist as he racks up consecutive triple doubles in a four game sweep. A devasted jordon will gasp for his last breaths as a classy Walker kneels at his side. In the last moments in his career jordon will wheeze, "It's too late for me now. You were right. You were right..." Antoine will finish the season by leading the Celtics to the first of fifteen consecutive championships. He will retire in glory as the Alliance of Boston fans will begin their search for "A New Hope"... -- Tim Windows 98 = Macintosh '88