Bow Down Before the Great and Powerful Albatross!

It's the Michael A. Burstein Worship Page

The Admiral's Evil Twin,

Mr. Michael A. "Albatross" Burstein

Michael A. Burstein during his senior year (1990-91) at Harvard.
Picture Copyright © 1999 by Katherine Bryant, used with permission.

The Official Michael A. Burstein Home Page
Check out the real story on the 1997 John W. Campbell Award Winner for Best Writer and see what he has coming up.

The (Almost) Completely Made-Up Biography of Michael A. Burstein, ver. 2.0
Some Things Michael Has Said to Me
Top Ten Signs (and Portents) that Michael A. Burstein Really Is Michael W. Zecca's Evil Twin [TM]

The (Almost) Completely Made-Up Biography of Michael A. Burstein, ver 2.0

Let's you do more, and up to 15% faster than in the old version!

On February 27, 1970, Michael A. Burstein pupated from his cocoon hidden high in the branches of the only jum jum tree growing in New York City's Central Park. He was the son of Sheila Broflovski Burstein, a particle physicist of ill repute, and J. Michael Burstein, a veteran of the Earth-Minbari War. Little did his human parents know of their involvement in extraterrestrial breeding experiments that have been going on since the dawn of human history. A twin, produced from mirror-imaged DNA in the saucer's extensive biotech lab at the same time Burstein was being created, had hatched from his own leathery egg a little further south only a few months before. For reasons known only to the aliens, both were named Michael.

In 1974, at the tender age of four, Michael Burstein sold his first work of fiction, a 200-word masterpiece called "How Mr. Nixon Likes His Tea", to Time/Life, who planned to publish it in the premiere issue of their new children's SF pulp magazine Vole. Unfortunately, the offices of the magazine burned down mysteriously the next day, with the publisher and the editor still inside, and plans for the magazine were scrapped at that point. All copies of the story were lost in the fire, save for the last line of one scorched copy, which read "And so the albatross went forth..." Legend has it that Burstein would have been a first-ballot winner of the Hugo, Nebula and John W. Campbell awards that year, if not for the disaster that struck that fateful day.

Time passed. Without knowledge of each others' existences, each of the two Michaels graduated high school in 1987 and switched the focus of their interest to physics. During the 1988-89 academic year (his sophomore, her freshman year), Michael Burstein became acquainted with one Katherine Bryant, with whom he performed in a Harvard Gilbert & Sullivan production.

(Pictures Copyright © 1999 by Katherine Bryant, used with permission.)

As it turns out, Ms. Bryant had known the other Michael, Michael "The Admiral" Zecca, in high school, and had now learned a secret which would not be revealed to them until late 1993: that the two Michaels were a particle/anti-particle pairing, equals and opposites. In short, mutually Evil Twins! Ms. Bryant became very afraid, and wished not to be present at the time of the Great Annihilation, when the two Evil Twins would meet in a cataclysmic release of energy.

Michael Burstein received his bachelor's degree in physics from Harvard in 1991. (Meanwhile, his Evil Twin earned his bachelor's degree in physics and mathematics at roughly the same time, a few thousand miles away.) Mr. Burstein then went on to earn a master's degree in physics at Boston University before plunging headlong into the seedy and dangerous world of...teaching physics at a private high school. Well, that and writing speculative fiction. Good stuff. Won some awards. Nominated for many more. None that you've heard of, I'm sure. Or have you?

His father left this mortal coil, which hit Michael very hard. He met a girl named Nomi (and married her). He discovered a new television show, which he became very fond of:

Babylon 5

And that's when all Hell broke loose.

You see, this other Michael, hiding out in Colorado, just starting his own master's degree program, so that he could also become a high school physics teacher (aren't these coincidences spooky???), got a job at the National Center for Atmospheric Research. Some of that job entailed waiting for programs to feed through a Cray supercomputer. During those waits, he discovered a newsgroup: alt.tv.babylon5. There, he met Michael A. Burstein. They both joined an underground on-line fan club and mailing list about the show and became fast friends.

And then Revelation hit them both, like Comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 belly-flopping onto the planet Jupiter.

They were each other's Evil Twin.

And Katherine Bryant is very scared.

Michael Burstein now teaches physics (and other stuff) at the private Cambridge School of Weston, Massachusetts, where he also advises the student newspaper staff on how not to be crude. He continues to write, and to draw nominations and awards, while also serving as the secretary for the Science Fiction Writers of America (the people that give out the Nebula Awards). His Evil Twin also teaches (Or is it a stand-up act? Sometimes, the students can't tell.) physics and other science stuff at public Southfield High School in Southfield, Michigan, where he also advises on technology issues and evaluates borderline National Honor Society applications. He tries to write SF as well, when he's not suffering from severe sleep apnea or playing with his many rodent pals, or serving as the chair (and only member) of the Southfield High School Anti-Social Committee.

They know of each other's existence. They know where the other is located. They think they know how the other one thinks. But they have not met in person.

Yet.

Probability suggests that sooner or later their paths will cross. It may even be due to rodent-assisted quantum tunneling.

The Great Annihilation is coming. Are you ready?

A Few Things Michael Has Said to Me

"Zecca, you is one WEIRD dude. Stay that way. :-)"
-- Michael Burstein, 9 Mar 1995

"If you ever get Zecca and me together, the room explodes."
-- Michael Burstein, 28 Apr 1995

Top Ten Signs (and Portents)
that Michael A. Burstein Really Is
Michael W. Zecca's Evil Twin [TM]

10. Both named "Michael".
9. Both born between the launches of Apollos XII and XIII.
8. Katherine Bryant can barely tell them apart.
7. Both wear the mark of Psi.
6. Both majored in physics.
5. Both opted out of physics research in favor of education.
4. Both like to write SF. (One has been far more successful, the other a bit more prolific, so far.)
3. Both married women slightly younger than them with four-letter first names.
2. They have equal and opposite spin.

And the Number One Sign (and Portent) that Michael A. Burstein Really Is Michael W. Zecca's Evil Twin [TM]:

1. You really don't want to know.