All you really need to do in this life is to try to be "cool" man, or atleast that is what you assume. Whether you want to be cool or not it will interfere with your life no matter hard you may try to avoid the topic. The subject of cool will be on your mind from the day you are born to the day you die. It will consume most of your thoughts and most likely how you will fill your spare time.
Being cool is a study of both contemporary and historical fashion and media. Media especially related to film, music, and to a lesser extent literature. the state of cool is always in a turbulent state. This turbulence arises out of the fact that being cool directly ties into human mating and mannerisms of successful sexuality. Being COOL is a desirable goal by both sexes and transsexuals as well. Being cool is analogous to playing the lead part in your own personal cult-classic film. Like i said before the state of cool is a many cross referenced ordeal. You must mix and match parts from all over your culture and often times other cultures. For example right now in the year 2000 when Latino music is at high levels of popularity all over the country and world, you must have atleast a basic knowledge of some Latin culture (my example: Lexion Uno). Often times the success of being cool lies in the ratios you mix and match your sources, references, and data. Apathy alone will not make you cool, smoking cigs by itself will not present you as being rebellious..you could just be an overwrought bank manager or truck driver. Fashion alone will not give you cool success, for you will eventually have to talk and prove yourself. Knowledge of cool information will also not give you cool success. Like i keep saying it is a whole emodiment of things in proportional and equivalent ratios. Now of course there is an allowable +/- margin from which you can stray from these ratios. This margin is necessary to allow cool people to reinvent themselves and study up on some cool subjects they are lacking so as they can remain cool. In America we pride individualism, though only to a point. Excessiveness will most likely bring you disdain from the public for being too fanatical and nobody who is cool has anything to do with being even a little fanatical....the balance is too important and just the threat that anything could make you uncool at any moment is typically enough to keep people in line and from wandering into fanaticism and borderline anarchy.
There are many elixirs that can grant you short-term coolness. For example: Alcohol, marijuana, benzedrine, Acid and others. However one is who is going to venture into these realms and take the "short-cut" to success once again needs to have some knowledge on the product. Ingestion of these elixirs and can be unhealthy and sometimes even deadly....so one must know clearly what their goal is. With these elixirs it is imperative to know your body's threshold. Dont forget, under this facade of coolness resides a vulnerable body, so be aware of what it can and cant do. Another elixir for short-term coolness is frequent sexual activity. Sex like the drugs can put a costly toll on your body and not to mention what it can do to your psyche. One must be totally prepared before entering into this activity if one is to be successful. Men must have appropriate body figures and penis dimensions, stamina, and acute observational qualities. Women must have appropriate body figures and vaginal dimensions, skilled verbal repertoire, and a need for "spooning". Always be prepared for sexual encounters that go awry as this is par for the course....that is just the data that will lead you to coolness. Having knowledge of the tumultuous feelings that both sexual and chemical elixirs can enduce is totally imperative.
This is the end of lesson one. I realize this is a lot of information to absorb on the first day of class, but I will not give you lesson two until next week...so study hard kids. You may already be on your way to being cool. If not you will indeed be cooler than you were before you read my lessons.
Mr. Blonde Fonzie.