{"id":1533,"date":"2015-04-27T09:49:17","date_gmt":"2015-04-27T17:49:17","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/nook\/?p=1533"},"modified":"2015-04-27T09:49:17","modified_gmt":"2015-04-27T17:49:17","slug":"avoided-an-ass-whooping","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/2015\/04\/27\/avoided-an-ass-whooping\/","title":{"rendered":"Avoided an Ass Whooping"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; color: #003300;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I woke up just in time to avoid a serious ass whooping.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; color: #003300;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I was walking down an urban street at night.\u00a0 There were a lot of people out.\u00a0 A lot of activity.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; color: #003300;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A guy in his girlfriend were walking behind me.\u00a0 He had a rubber ball that he kept bouncing off my back.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; color: #003300;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 His girlfriend said to him, &#8220;Do you have to do that?&#8221;<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; color: #003300;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I replied, of course he does!\u00a0 He&#8217;s an asshole!<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; color: #003300;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 My mistake was not turning around to see my opponent before engaging because when I did turn around, I realized I had engaged someone about a foot taller than myself, a lot more muscular, younger, and I inferred, more street savvy.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: comic sans ms,sans-serif; font-size: 12pt; color: #003300;\">\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 Fortunately, I awoke from the dream at this point.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I woke up just in time to avoid a serious ass whooping. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 I was walking down an urban street at night.\u00a0 There were a lot of people out.\u00a0 A lot of activity. \u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 A guy in his girlfriend &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/2015\/04\/27\/avoided-an-ass-whooping\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1533","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","wpautop"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1533","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1533"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1533\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1533"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1533"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1533"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}