![\"rubberdog\"](\"http:\/\/www.eskimo.com\/~nanook\/nook\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/01\/rubberdog.jpg\")
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While I was in prison, my wife bought another dog.\u00a0 A Doberman puppy she named Mae.\u00a0 Mae as you can see slouches something awful, seems to have rubber joints that can flex any which way without bothering her.<\/p>\n
I really didn’t want to get a dog, not knowing if I’d lose the house or not (that’s still up in the air and a cause of a hell of a lot of stress).\u00a0 It’s hard enough to find housing as a sex offender, limited to one county, without adding the requirement of being able to have pets.<\/p>\n
So now if it comes to that, and we have to give her up, it’s going to be yet another heartbreak.\u00a0 Between a daughter I can’t talk to or even know how she is doing and a youngest son that won’t talk to me, and a mother in the deep stages of Alzheimer’s, I’ve had enough of that already.<\/p>\n
Before I even went to prison my financial state was going to hell in a hand basket because that’s where my mental state was.\u00a0 Wasn’t able to do the things I needed to do like keep current on billing, update servers that needed to be updated, etc.\u00a0 I had a line of credit with Chase which somehow they’ve construed as a mortgage.\u00a0 To be honest, I didn’t really understand what I signed with them, they write these 50-page contracts that nobody understands except lawyers that I can’t afford.<\/p>\n
So now I am current on my primary mortgage but not the Chase thing, and they’ve more than doubled the principal with outrages fees and interest.\u00a0 So, I’m in this mess where if I could refinance the whole amount, the chase amount and my primary, at modern interest rates, I would not have a problem making the payments, but I can’t because my credit is shot, and my credit is shot because I can’t make payments on the Chase and some other cards.<\/p>\n
There are times when I wish I would have just died in prison.\u00a0 The business is healthy now, but my personal finance situation is a mess.\u00a0 So I don’t know what to do.\u00a0 JP Morgan was the downfall of Tesla and it looks like he’s going to make my life miserable from the grave.<\/p>\n
In my absence my wife had made arrangements and payments to Chase, but they reneged and $8,000 she paid them never got credited to our account, we don’t know where the hell it went.<\/p>\n
I guess the moral of the story is read and understand or don’t sign.\u00a0 And don’t get mentally ill (like anybody would choose what I went through).<\/p>\n
An even bigger moral is stay right with God, because the whole cause of the severe anxiety I had was not being right with God and believing I was going to die and go to hell any moment.\u00a0 Well, at least that is something I don’t live with anymore.<\/p>\n
And although this mess is still far from worked out, I’ve seen enough things which seemed impossible solved by God’s grace that I know, if it’s his will, it’s possible.\u00a0 What I don’t know is, if it’s his will.\u00a0 I know I am still far from spiritual maturity, and maybe a lot more pain is still in the works to get there.\u00a0 And I guess that’s what I stress out the most about.\u00a0 Really not knowing what I’m still going to have to be dragged through.\u00a0 But at least I know whatever it is now, I won’t be dragged through alone.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
While I was in prison, my wife bought another dog.\u00a0 A Doberman puppy she named Mae.\u00a0 Mae as you can see slouches something awful, seems to have rubber joints that can flex any which way without bothering her. I really … Continue reading