I thought about the feeling that seems to be with these dreams and it’s a feeling of something lost.<\/p>\n
Two years ago in January my mother passed away.\u00a0 My daughter is gone and I’ve got a court no contact order prohibiting me from contacting her that doesn’t expire until September 29th, 2019, and even then I don’t know if she will want to talk to me.\u00a0 My youngest son is gone, he was emotionally close to my daughter so I think that is why he is angry with me but since he won’t talk to me I don’t really know.<\/p>\n
So maybe “getting home” means going back to where these people were in my life.\u00a0 If that’s the case then I’m just screwed.\u00a0 This is the part of getting old that I’m really not enjoying and I know at least two out of three people gone I brought on myself.<\/p>\n
I can’t use distractions I used in the past because I have to be good if I want to see my mother again.\u00a0 My daughter and youngest son, well, that’s between them and God at this point.<\/p>\n
Why do I put all this out?\u00a0 Particularly when I know NSA will put it in their great data storehouse forever?\u00a0 Secret keeping got me in trouble before, don’t want to go down that road again so instead I’m being as public as I can.\u00a0 Maybe too much information, nobody is forced to read it.<\/p>\n
I’m sick, started out with a mild flu but it was short-lived, but just on the tail of it got a nasty head cold that’s now screwed up my voice and makes sleeping damned near impossible as I hack and cough until early hours of the morning.\u00a0 I’m taking pseudofed (generic equivalent), chlor-trimetron, and Robotussin DM, and not really helping all that much.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I thought about the feeling that seems to be with these dreams and it’s a feeling of something lost. Two years ago in January my mother passed away.\u00a0 My daughter is gone and I’ve got a court no contact order … Continue reading