From axnf@earthlink.net Fri Apr 13 10:39:02 CDT 2001
Message-ID: <3AD22D0D.8D600B5E@earthlink.net>
From: AXN Findout <axnf@earthlink.net>
Newsgroups: rec.sport.basketball.pro
Subject: Phil Predicts
Date: Mon, 09 Apr 2001 21:44:40 GMT


AP - ROUNDUP - Phil Jackson, enigmatic coach of the
Los Angeles Lakers, went out on a limb today in an interview
focusing on the playoffs. Asked how he thought his team would
do, Jackson replied, "In the beginning, the mountain and the river
are the mountain and the river. Then, after a while, the mountain
and the river are not the mountain and the river. And then, in the end,
the mountain and the river are finally the mountain and the river."
    Shaquille O'Neal, the Lakers' enigmatic star center, bristled when
informed of Jackson's prediction. "I wish he wouldn't have said it,"
O'Neal said. "When the rest of the league gets a load of that, it'll
just put added pressure on us."
    The Lakers' recuperating enigmatic star guard Kobe Bryant shook
his head and touched his lips softly when read Jackson's bold
statement. "As if the other teams aren't gunning for us already."
    Enigmatic guard Isaiah "J.R." Rider, already in Jackson's doghouse,
refused comment, saying, "The Tao that can be told is not the eternal
Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name. Play or
pout--these two spring from the same source but differ in name.
Darkness within darkness. The gate to all mystery."
    Informed of Rider's comments, Jackson smiled enigmatically. "What
is a good man?" he asked. "A teacher of a bad man. What is a bad man?
A good man's charge. If a teacher is not respected, and the student not
cared for, confusion will arise, however clever one is. This is the crux
of mystery."
    Rider, informed of Jackson's comments, again refused comment,
stating, "He who is filled with virtue is like a newborn child. Wasps
and serpents will not sting him. Wild beasts will not pounce upon him.
He will not be attacked by birds of prey. His bones are soft, his
muscles weak, but his grip is firm. He has not experienced the union of
man and woman, but is whole. His manhood is strong. He screams all
day without becoming hoarse. This is perfect harmony."
    Informed of Rider's claims, Jackson enigmatically scratched his
slacks and pointed behind the reports, shouting, "Look!" The reporters
turned around and saw nothing, then turned around again to find Jackson
had disappeared into thin air.
    Informed of Jackson's disappearance, Rider fell asleep standing up
with his eyes wide open.
    The Lakers play Phoenix Tuesday.