From ix.netcom.com!netnews Wed Dec 13 09:56:49 CST 1995
Article: 172015 of rec.sport.basketball.pro
Xref: netcom.com rec.sport.basketball.pro:172015
Path: netcom.com!ix.netcom.com!netnews
From: tquagga@ix.netcom.com (TQ )
Newsgroups: rec.sport.basketball.pro
Subject: An RSBP Christmas
Date: 10 Dec 1995 21:26:17 GMT
Organization: Netcom
Lines: 70
Message-ID: <4afj9p$mv3@cloner2.ix.netcom.com>
NNTP-Posting-Host: ix-li2-02.ix.netcom.com

'Twas the night before Christmas, and in Rsbp
Not a poster was posting, not even BoW-D
The flamebait was crafted with delicate care
In hopes that lame newbies would swallow it there

The Knick fans were sleeping, each snug in his bed
With visions of Reggie found gagged, maimed and dead
The Net fans were happy- their future was bright
They'd just traded Kenny for Brook Steppe and Greg Kite!

The Bulls fans they growled with the roar of a tiger
When discovering Shaq had been ruined by Matt Geiger
The Home Court would be theirs, as well as the crown
If Ho Grant and Penny would also go down

The Stoudamire jockers were chanting his name
(He'd been playing more minutes than there are in a game)
They hoarded his rookie cards, dreaming of cash
In three or four years, they'd be tossed in the trash

And Jazzy was glowing from his head to his feet
His Division III stats were now nearly complete
Patricia was wishing she'd somehow receive
Tarpley's contract in pieces upon Christmas Eve

With Spoon on his throne, Judden perched in his lap
He urged Rob and Gheorghe to go take a dirt nap
But Rob was undaunted, and dissed Cheryl Miller
Then Simon attacked like a PC gorilla!

Their eyes how they twinkled, their keyboards were smoking
And Rob kept insisting he'd merely been joking
They soon declared peace after narrow escapes
Then went off to watch Nancy Lieberman tapes

Now Pinhead's fried seafood was making him sick
He claimed MAR had the world's biggest dick 
But Russ pointed out that old Roy'd been misled
He'd been staring at pictures of Coach Dale Brown's head!

When out of the Net there arose such a clatter
I sprang out of my bed to see what was the matter
Away to my laptop I flew like a flash
And hoped that Netcruiser this time would not crash

Was Glide doing haiku? Had Dave Crotty dropped dead?
Had his 800th post broken veins in his head?
Was McAllister returning to bore us to tears?
Was SDarwi fulfilling the worst of our fears?

When what to my wondering eyes should appear
But a post like a nightmarish scream in my ear: 
"ON DERRICK, ON JACKSON, ON HAYWOODE AND SMITS!"
"SPREWELL JUST BLOWS AND MITCH RICHMOND'S THE PITS!"

"ON DALE AND ANTONIO, SCHINTZIUS AND BEST!"
"JORDAN? HE SUCKS EVEN MORE THAN THE REST!"
His words, they were misspelled, his thoughts were so skewed
We all knew that drugs had affected this dude!

His frenzy soon waned, but he posted still more
In large, messy capitals hard to ignore:
"THIS GROUP IS SO CLUELESS, GOODNIGHT ALL YOU FOOLS!"
"MERRY CHRISTAMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL - REGGIE RULES!!!"

-TQ (With apologies as necessary)
-- 
TQ (TQuagga@ix.netcom.com)

"Leave the gun. Take the cannolis."