Norwescon Movies

Intergalactic Bad Astra
The Matricks
Run Frodo Run
Ultimate Survivor Norwescon
Con Of The Dead
CSI: Norwescon
March of the Fenguins
Manslugs! The Making of A "Sci-Fi Original"
31

I was contacted early in 2000 to participate in a filmmaking workshop at Norwescon, Seattle's big regional science fiction convention. The plan was to shoot a movie at the convention and let folks participate in the making. I have to be honest and say I thought it would never work. However, every year we have shot a movie in two hours (sometimes cheating a bit over) and they have turned out so well, I eagerly show them to people.

Intergalactic Bad Astra

The theme of Norwescon in 2000 was "Ad Astra," latin for "to the stars."  Everyone agreed we should do some play on this for the title of our movie which naturally enough, concerns itself with a science fiction convention. Yes, it's the old "fish out of water" gimmick as an alien ("transmogrified" from a pet rat that someone had brought along to the con) attends the convention, not realizing the mixture of fantasy and reality is interfering with his attempt at human reconnaissance. Fortunately for the human race, the invasion is called off due to the erroneous perception that humans have incredible powers and weapons that the rat race would be unable to overcome. This movie was shot entirely "in camera" with no editing.

Credits:

Intergalactic Bad Astra
5 minutes. Mini-DV videotape. Filmed in two hours on April 22, 2000.
Cast ... (if you are in this movie (since we never do any credits), please write me and tell me who you played!)
Written, Produced, and Directed by Edward Martin III and Leopoldo Marino. Photographed by Ryan K. Johnson.

The Matricks

Edward wasn't able to make it to the convention due to illness and Leopoldo had no interest in participating a second time, so it was left to me and Adam Buckner to pull off the filmmaking workshop this year. We were all set to go with another idea (which I've since forgotten) when someone suggested doing a parody of The Matrix. I couldn't resist. Edward's wife Katrina agreed to play "Zero" (our version of Keanu Reeves' Neo), and Janet Borkowski would be "Morpheus" because she looks nothing like Laurence Fishburn. Rounding out the cast was my roommate at the time, Erik Prill, as Agent Jones.

Friday night at the convention, I sat in our hotel room and rewatched The Matrix on the in-house video to come up with material to use. Ten minutes before we were to begin shooting on Saturday morning, I had my wife Kate Waterous take notes as I dictated the entire script. Adam did a great job directing, and we quickly moved from location to location to film the spoof. In our version of The Matricks, Zero drinks from a red Coke can (instead of a blue Pepsi can) and finds out from Morpheus that all of fandom is a construct by evil computers to enslave humanity. There's even a revelation of the truth about chocolate ice cream! Eventually, Zero and Agent Jones fight it out, sadly without the multi-million dollar budget afforded the Wachowski brothers on their epic (the bullets here are on a stick and the actors have to freeze in place as the camera whirls around them). For a second time, scheduling forced us to shoot the entire movie "in camera" with no editing, although later we did add some music and sound effects.

Credits:

The Matrix
5 minutes. Mini-DV videotape. Filmed in two hours on April 14, 2001.
Cast...Katrina Martin as Zero, Janet Borkowski as Morpheus, Erik Prill as Agent Jones.
Produced by Adam Buckner, Ryan K. Johnson, and Brian D. Oberquell, Directed by Adam Buckner, Written & Photographed by Ryan K. Johnson. Post-production audio by Erik Prill.

Run Frodo Run

In 2002, both Edward and Leopoldo returned to the workshop and if we were going to do yet another parody, clearly there was one movie in everyone's mind: Lord of The Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. We decided to combine this with a clever German art-house movie, Run Lola Run (check it out!), and show three possible outcomes of Frodo's attempt to take the One Ring (in our case, a bagel) to Mount Doom and rescue Sam. Everyone really got into the spirit of the movie and we had a huge cast and crew with us as we kept running around the hotel having to do the same scenes in the same places three times in a row (but all shot in sequence with no editing). The movie begins with Frodo, while waiting around a pay phone, receiving a call from Sam telling him to bring the One Ring to Mount Doom. Gandalf emerges from the nearby women's restroom and thus advises him: "Run Frodo, Run!" Frodo's adventures take him past a white rabbit, a large scary fan, a Balrog, Darth Vader, and screaming fans, until the final confrontation (after dying twice, just like Kenny) at Mount Doom (or something fairly similar).

Credits:

Run Frodo Run
6 minutes. Mini-DV videotape. Filmed in two hours on March 30, 2002.
Cast... Theo Hill as Frodo, Brian D. Oberquell as Sam, Jesse Brocksmith as Bunnyman, Brian Hunt as Sauron, Mark Dranek, Kate Waterous, Rachel as Orcs.
Produced by Edward Martin III, Leopoldo Marino, Ryan K. Johnson and Brian D. Oberquell, Directed by Edward Martin III, Written by Edward Martin III and Leopoldo Marino. Photographed and post-production audio by Ryan K. Johnson.

Ultimate Survivor Norwescon

With reality shows being all the rage in 2003, it seemed only natural to do a parody of them. Hence doing an "ultimate" version of Survivor set at Norwescon "where there is no immunity," our host gleefully informs us. In fact, the show begins showing all the former contestants who have already met their demise including Ryan (killed by the "voodoo message board") and Edward (an entire pack of cigarettes crammed in his mouth). We then meet the six finalists who describe themselves in turn and then are given fannish challenges. The first, the "Survive the Panel Panel," was to see who could sit through a 26 hour panel. The second was to safely walk through Day Six of the gaming room where "no personal hygiene" existed. After one character was stabbed in the back by another, the final challenge was a bagel eating contest, but two of the bagels were leftovers from Norwescon I! Only Mike in his Hawaiian t-shirt survived, although when he learned what the grand prize was, an erotic massage from William Shatner, he committed suicide. The host wasn't concerned and urged us to watch next week for "Ultimate Survivor Westercon." As a surprise, we added a gag after our traditional "We made this!" cast shot, just for a change of pace. This was the first production to actually be edited after we shot it, although keeping with our tradition of doing everything on the spot, it was completed in under four hours.

Credits:

Ultimate Survivor Norwescon
6 minutes. Mini-DV videotape. Filmed in two hours on April 19, 2003.
Cast... As themselves: Bob, Dana Halfhill, Lori Hillard, Mike Reddig, Kathleen, Runia.
Produced by Edward Martin III, Leopoldo Marino, Ryan K. Johnson and Brian D. Oberquell, Directed by Edward Martin III, Written by Edward Martin III and Leopoldo Marino. Photographed and post-production audio by Ryan K. Johnson.

Con of The Dead

Probably for the first time, we cheated and Edward and I had a brief chat ahead of time to discuss possible themes we could use for our fifth production in 2004. As I recall, I said to him, "What's left to parody? We've already done The Matrix, Lord of the Rings, and Survivor." And without missing a beat he said, "Well the two most popular movies in America currently feature people rising from the dead [Dawn of the Dead and The Passion Of The Christ], so how about zombies?" That was the magic word. As soon as I heard "zombies" I knew we had a winner. So on Friday morning at the workshop planning panel we told everyone our great idea and everyone agreed. Lori Hillard offered to do makeup (and buy -- with her own money -- a fake arm (thank you, Lori!)), people shouted out possible ideas, and we were off and running. An alternative title we considered was "Dawn of the Living Impaired."

It's been pointed out that Shaun of the Dead (written and starring one of my favorite British comics, Simon Pegg) is also a comedy with zombies but at the time we shot this, none of us had seen it, so I don't think it really counts as plagiarism. Besides, the essential joke of our movie is zombies are the latest oppressed minority demanding equal rights, which I think is unique.

The movie opens with what I think is probably the best-acted scene we've done so far: a hick couple talking about their daughter marrying a zombie. These two were great, with perfect accents (topped only by the guy we recruited at the last second to play an intolerant bus driver) and the look of disdain the guy gives when forced to use the politically correct term "living impaired" instead of "zombies" is priceless. Edward spent the night before coming up with an amazing animated graphic using Adobe After Effects, as well as graphics for our "sponsor" Zombagra. From that point on, it's just joke, joke, joke: zombies picket a theater for showing Dawn of the Dead, Steve Irwin discovers that babies and zombies don't mix, a Kurt Cobain fan isn't impressed with Kurt's zombie version (hilariously performed by David Tackett), and even Jesus gets into the act pointing out he was the original person to rise from the dead. We had our biggest group ever to help out, which meant for the theater scene (shot in the parking lot just outside the back lobby of the hotel) we were able to have dozens of extras in addition to at least 10 zombie protesters. My largest crowd scene ever! We finished shooting in the hotel coffee shop where one of the waitresses even stepped in to assist with the joke. The final gag in the movie was one that Edward lobbied heavily for: having a zombie lose an eyeball in a cup of coffee. This seemed to amuse him to no end.

All the filming was completed in just two and half hours, and Edward and I quickly headed up to his hotel room to edit everything in time for our 4 PM panel. As we edited, Edward's wife Katrina (our "Zero" from The Matricks) just couldn't get enough of the "zombie moan" that our head zombie, the quickly drafted Leopoldo Marino, kept doing throughout and no matter how many times she heard it, she broke up laughing. Hopefully the rest of the world would feel the same way. Despite Edward's computer doing some bizarre crashes, we managed to throw all the shots together more or less in a manner ready for public consumption. Only a few minutes late, we were able to present them to our assembled editing workshop and the result was a huge success.

As usual, the official premiere was Sunday at the Fandance Film Festival (after Edward had sweetened the audio slightly Saturday evening) where it received a great response. Only Edward's quickie "Shadow Dog" got bigger laughs all afternoon.

Edward's webpage for Con Of The Dead with downloadable version.

Credits:

Con Of The Dead
5 minutes. Mini-DV videotape. Filmed in two and a half hours on April 10, 2004.
Cast... Leopoldo Marino ("Keanu Reeves" and head zombie), David Tackett ("Kurt Cobain" and Charlton Heston), Debbie Lentz (Redneck Wife), Patrick (Redneck Husband), Alexandra Paris (Zombie Translator), Katrina Martin (Zombagra Voiceover); Theo Hill, Chris Anderson, Thaddeus, Runia (Zombies); Laurel Parshall (Scared Woman), Sera Hartman (Pamphlet Reader), Mike Reddig (Jesus), Mark Dranek (Bus driver).
Produced by Edward Martin III, Ryan K. Johnson and Brian D. Oberquell, Directed by Edward Martin III, Written by Edward Martin III and Ryan K. Johnson. Photographed by Ryan K. Johnson. Editing and sound by Edward Martin III. Props by David Tackett and Janet Borkowski. Make-Up: Lori Hillard.

CSI: Norwescon

Our rainiest Norwescon yet, and fortunately we planned a movie that could be shot entirely indoors. Not only that, but most of it took place inside a bathroom! After toying with the idea of doing "Klingon Eye For The Con Guy" (which apparently has been done already) we decided the glut of TV police procedurals were ripe for the Norwescon parody treatment. This was helped by the fact our own Brian D. Oberquell has an amazing resemblance to CSI star William Petersen. Former bunnyman (Run Frodo Run) Jesse Brocksmith quickly volunteered to be our featured corpse even though this meant being immersed in a bathtub full of ice!

Two CSI investigators arrive at a con hotel to find Cuddles Jackson dead in his bathtub and all his organs missing. Was it organleggers? Aliens? Or something much more sinister? The crack CSI: Norwescon team (working out of their Seattle World Headquarters) eventually solve the baffling case.

Because so much filming took place in a bathroom, most of the participants of the panel weren't able to directly see what we were doing, hence it wasn't really much a "Roll Your Own" workshop as we intended. Also, we bit off a little more than we could chew in terms of production complexity and ran way over our alloted two hour shooting schedule. Editing was even slower, with Edward finishing a rough cut mere minutes before its premiere on Sunday, nearly 24 hours after we had shot it. Next year, we plan to scale things back a bit, involve everyone more, and keep things simple so we don't spend the rest of the convention doing post-production.

Edward's webpage for CSI: Norwescon with downloadable version.

Credits:

CSI: Norwescon
8 minutes. Mini-DV videotape. Filmed in three and a half hours on March 26, 2005.
Cast... The Victim Cuddles Jackson: Jesse Brocksmith; Investigators: Brian D. Oberquell & Enid Borgerding; Policeman: Mark Dranek; Seductress: Julie Andrijeski; Lab Assistant: Thadeus Wilson; Coroner: Tracey Ernst.
Produced by Edward Martin III, Leopoldo Marino, Ryan K. Johnson and Brian D. Oberquell, Directed by Edward Martin III, Written by Edward Martin III & Brian D. Oberquell. Photographed by Ryan K. Johnson and Eric Morgret. Editing and sound by Edward Martin III. Make-Up: Lori Hillard.

March of the Fenguins

Another rainy Easter weekend, but as promised, we shot this in the allotted time, and editing only took six hours. Ryan had been nursing this idea for a while and quickly persuaded the rest of the workshop to make it this year's movie (though his preferred original title was "March of the Fanboys." This was thought sexist, so it was changed to "Fenguins" -- "fen" is the plural of "fan"). Edward still has not seen the original documentary but he was quickly brought up to speed. We had dozens of quality extras and everyone was able to get face time on screen this year. Brave Theo Hill (Run Frodo Run) dove into the pool and provided a stunning underwater swimming shot. His mother informed us he's going into the Army for six years later this year. See you again at Norwescon 35 in 2012, Theo! Many other familiar faces made an appearance this year including Runia, Dana Halfhill, Katrina Martin, Janet Borkowski, and Jesse Brocksmith.

The humble narrator explains how the fen congregate each year at the same time and place, grooming each other, feeding their young, and attempting to mate with their own kind. We meet the only natural enemy of the fen (disapproving parents), as well as sinister scheme to steal their pelts.

Edward's webpage for March of the Fenguins with downloadable version.

Credits:

March of the Fenguins
5 minutes. Mini-DV videotape. Filmed in two hours on April 15, 2006.
Cast... Narrator: Leopoldo Marino; Baby Feeder: Mike Reddig; Swimming Fenguin: Theo Hill; Boot Hill Guy: Nathanial Woodbury; Berating Parent: Fern Francavillo; Daughter: Kelly.
Produced by Edward Martin III, Leopoldo Marino, Eric Morgret and Ryan K. Johnson, Directed by Edward Martin III. Original idea by Ryan K. Johnson. Photographed by Ryan K. Johnson. Editing and sound by Edward Martin III. Stills by Ruth.

Manslugs!
The Making Of A "Sci-Fi Original"

Just to prove we don't always come into these workshops with pre-set ideas, this parody of those awful TV movies The Sci-Fi Channel foists on us every Saturday was about the twelfth suggestion the audience made at this year's planning panel. It was by far the best (and successfully avoided us having to do a parody of "300"--ugh!). We shot an amazing amount of material in just two hours, including Hollywood's worst writers pitching their ideas to brainless executives, the casting session, production and post-production... the rough cut ran over 12 minutes!  It was eventually trimmed down to nine and half, the first time we'd ever had deleted scenes and outtakes of any note.  

Three executives from the Sci-Fi Channel listen patiently to some of the lamest story pitches ever.  The only one they like is for "Manslugs!" The writer is ecstatic although her nightmare begins as the tie-dyed shirt wearing director (previous credits: "Leprechaun 8") decides that Bruce Willis, Nicolas Cage, Johnny Depp and Dakota Fanning are "kind of overexposed," and instead casts unknowns with no experience.  Budget cuts cause further rewrites as the army of manslugs is reduced to a single manslug. Shooting begins with the smallest camera ever seen, no tripod, and a blind cameraman. The special effects consist mostly of slime and black garbage bags. No one listens to the frantic pleas of the writer that they aren't following her script. Finally, the promotion department gets a call alerting them of the title change ("Take out the 's'") but as the trailer reveals, there is a slight miscommunication...

Credits:

Manslugs! The Making of A "Sci-Fi Original"
10 minutes. Mini-DV videotape. Filmed in two hours on April 7, 2007.
Cast... Executives: Ryan K. Johnson, Julie, Don Lake; Executive's Daughter: Runia; Director: Mike Reddig; "Bruce Willis": Patrick; "Dakota Fanning": Dana Halfhill; Pitches: Ron Lake, Dave Tackett, Laurel Parshall, Jesse Brocksmith, Anita Taylor, Janet Borkowski; Actors: Larry W. Lewis, Cherise, Miranda, Phil Jones; Grip: Eric Weber; The Effects Guy: Brian D. Oberquell; Script Girl: Kate Waterous; Promotion Guy: Edward Martin III.
Produced by Edward Martin III, Brian D. Oberquell, Eric Morgret and Ryan K. Johnson, Directed by Edward Martin III. Written by Edward Martin III. Photographed by Ryan K. Johnson. Editing and sound by Edward Martin III. 

Edward's webpage for Manslugs! with a low-res downloadable version.

31

I figured we'd be doing the obvious parody this year, "Cloverfield," but someone suggested doing a Department of Homeworld Security training video and that quickly morphed into a parody of "24" despite the fact Edward has never seen the series.  As is tradition though, gamers were the subject of a lot of the humor, although by making them the deliberate bad guys at least they had a chance to defend themselves.  The Sony TRV-9 camcorder I have been using for the past eight years broke on Thursday afternoon, so I quickly had to locate a replacement camera for Saturday.  R.I.P. TRV-9, you served us long and well.  Although there were plenty of parts for everyone, it seems all the speaking parts went to people who had previously appeared in our videos.  We aren't allergic to new people, they just never seem to volunteer to act.  Theo Hill returned from active military duty to attend the convention and we cast him as Agent Jones. As Edward, Brian and I plotted out the story, we couldn't decide whether Jones should live or die, so we opted to shoot alternative endings and see which one played better.  On Friday night, I jumped on Edward's computer and in advance created the graphics we needed: the "31" logo, and the ticking clock. For music, we totally lucked out, Brian had the entire score on his iPod!   

Credits:

31
7 minutes. Mini-DV videotape. Filmed in two and a half hours on March 22, 2008.
Cast... Director Smith: Patrick; Shifty: Mark Dranek; The Dungeonmaster: Brian Hunt; Female Technician: Kate Waterous; Agent Eddie Bauer: Larry W. Lewis; Agent Jones: Theo Hill; Illegal Alien: Dana Halfhill; Tortured Gamer: David Tackett.
Produced by Edward Martin III, Brian D. Oberquell, Eric Morgret and Ryan K. Johnson, Directed by Edward Martin III. Written by Edward Martin III, Brian D. Oberquell and Ryan K. Johnson. Photographed by Ryan K. Johnson. Editing and sound by Edward Martin III. 

We made this!

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