Do you remember a point in your life where you imagine that, having done something very small and seemingly insignificant at the time, would have changed your entire life?

     I’ve got one of those points.  There was a girl in elementary school, fifth grade, that I had very strong feelings for.  I believe way beyond a crush because those feelings never entirely went a way,  But I was shy, afraid to express those feelings back then.

     We went on a field trip and during the bus ride I was initially in a seat by myself.  During the ride she came over and sat next to me, right up against me, and I was overwhelmed, and my shy nature at the time, I reacted by scooting over and making some room.  She reacted by getting up and going to another seat and never spoke to me once after that.  It was like that was some type of cosmic test and I failed, or maybe I didn’t in another life, in the quantum many worlds theory, somewhere out there is a me that had a Ward and June life and perhaps I’m envious of my other world self.

     I believe, had I not moved away, she would have been my life mate, and life would be entirely different.  I wouldn’t have spent 2-1/2 years in prison, wouldn’t have two estranged kids, wouldn’t have a kid that knows no other world except video games, or one that can’t spend more than half an hour with me before his girlfriend calls him back.

     I love my wife and I know she loves me, but there are definitely some rough edges.  But maybe this was meant to be, as hard and difficult as it sometimes is.  Maybe those kids will do something worthwhile.  Or maybe I’ll just live out my years disgruntled and die.