Went to sleep with an upset stomach.  It wasn’t liking the spices I had in Tacos, of which I ate three, for dinner.  Had nightmares all night of being back in prison mostly, some other nightmares as well.  When my wife came home from work I woke up out of a prison nightmare and went right back into one.

     They are distorted in terms of the realities.  In prison you have two release dates, an estimated release date which is the day you’ll be released if you stay out of trouble and don’t lose any good time, and a hard release date which is when your sentence ends and they have to release you unless you’ve done something severe enough to bring up new charges such as assaulting an officer.

     In real life, I didn’t lose any good time, but in the dream, I had as they say “maxed out”, meaning I had gotten to that hard release date and still they didn’t release me and nobody would tell me why or when I would be released.  I was trying to contact the CUS, that’s the supervisor over a living unit, to find out what was going on, unsuccessfully.  This has been a repeating theme in these dreams.

     It’s been three years and three months now and I’m still having these dreams, perhaps they’ll be with me the rest of my life. The other dreams dealt with economic woes and housing.

     I’m going through a bit of a depression right now, combination of economics not being good, having two kids that won’t communicate with me, one that I can’t communicate with by court order, the death of my mother is still on my mind, the health of my father, the death of several long-term customers recently.  I don’t understand why life has to be so difficult at times.

     There are times when God really makes his presence felt and others where he seems to just stand back and let me do my own thing, even when I ask him for guidance and that usually ends in some sort of disaster.  Right now I’m going through one of the latter periods.