This is our Doberman, Mae, next to my son Carl (you can just see a knee), taken with his Iphone.

     This is a view from a robot they sent in to one of the failed reactors, or what was left of it, it has now been confirmed that parts of the fuel rods and reactor have been blasted more than 130km from the site.  The weird glitches are caused by radiation acting upon the cameras sensor.

     Listing to Radio Veronica from Amsterdam, Netherlands. It’s entertaining to hear familiar music in a different language, sometimes. Gotta get some sleep.  Dutch sounds like something is stuck in your throat.  Just got through re-attaching a button to my pants.

     Have WinAmp running in the background playing random tunes.  It just played Blue Angel by Roy Orbison.  That man sure had vocal range and made good use of it in that song.  Totally beautiful voice.  Shame he passed so early.  Song is so beautiful I want to sing along but I can’t hit at least three of those higher octaves.

     Three hours ago we had a magnitude six earthquake about 200 miles west of the Oregon coast near the 90 bend in the Juan De Fuca / Pacific Plate interface.  There were three 5+ magnitude quakes, in addition to this one, in the last 24 hours near this same area.  This subduction zone is what is known as the Cascadia fault.  The deeper parts of the subduction interface are semi-fluid and move with a slow creep but the shallower portions lock and release suddenly, and when they do, can generate anywhere from an eight to as high as ten magnitude Earthquake and given that when that fault moves, it changes the altitude of the land below the ocean, it is guaranteed to generate a tsunami.

     The media is saying these quakes aren’t related to the Cascadia fault, but given they are located right where the locked portion of the subduction zone is, I don’t see how they can say that other than flat-out lying.

     I got my voter registration card in the mail today.  I’m officially a citizen again.  A citizen denied his second amendment rights for life, but a citizen none-the-less.  And it’s not that my vote actually counts for much, it’s overrun by all the bought votes, but it’s the symbolism of the thing, not to be completely excluded from the process.

If his commandment is everlasting life, then it must come to pass and I’m looking forward to it. I’m really tiring of being surrounded by death.

     Last night I had a nightmare in which my father had died.  Given his health isn’t the best these days that’s a real possibility.  Given that I’ve been having some precognitive dreams lately I was particularly concerned, although this dream did not have the short piece of time quality that my precognitive dreams tend to have.  Rather, I was still working at the telephone company (Qwest), which I left twenty years ago and which has subsequently been acquired by CenturyLink, and one of the supervisors I worked under, George Breckenridge, was the one who told me he had passed.

     There are unsettled issues between us and I don’t know how to settle them, he wants to know why I did some things I did, but if I answer that honestly he thinks I’m blaming him and gets defensive.  I don’t blame anyone for what I did except myself.  Certainly other people helped set up the circumstances but I made the poor decisions I did.

     I kind of feel like Austin Powers in the in the Goldmember film, where he has a list of things to do before I die, the last thing on the list is Earn Daddy’s respect.  I know in my lifetime that ain’t going to happen and certainly not in his.  I don’t feel there is anything I can do to be worthy of his love let alone his respect.

     This has left me in a bit of a depressed state today, also a little anxiety since I know it’s inevitable, it’s only a question of when, and then I know it will feel like there isn’t any buffer between me and my own death although I know in reality that doesn’t really ever change, save when I actually die.

     There are times when I’m tempted to hasten my own death, but I don’t want to leave my wife alone, especially after she waited for me through my prison sentence, I don’t want to hurt my kids, even those that won’t speak to me, and I have a responsibility to my customers that I take seriously.

     I tried to call today but no answer.  Just got one of those generic I’m not home messages that you get when you don’t set up your voice mail box.  The phone has been dead all day, nobody has called me.

     If anyone out there is into intercessory prayer, please ask God to help me sort this out, I can’t do it on my own.