This is how she sits when treats aren’t involved.
She is the bed pisser.

     I’m working on about 5 hours sleep.  I got to bed way late, almost 2AM last night because first I had to do server maintenance, and then our dog pissed on our bed necessitating washing all of our bedding.

     Then at 7am, my 26 year old Son, Raymond, threw up in the hall just outside our bedroom door.  Nausea came on rapidly and he didn’t have enough warning to make it all the way to the bathroom before his stomach emptied it’s contents.

     I was supposed to get a hair cut today, my hair is a shaggy disaster at the moment, but got to the shop and it was closed and the lights were off.  Found out my barber also got sick today.

     Been fighting some kind of infection that Doxycycline didn’t kill, even though it did a good number on my gut bacteria leaving me with intestinal pain and cramping all night for a good month before the doctor suggested probiotics, which were a small miracle.

     But the infection isn’t gone, and so they took a sample and sent it to a lab to determine what it is and do antibiotic sensitivity testing to see what will kill it.  Lab results were in yesterday but I’ve been playing telephone tag with the doctor ever since.

     Coming around towards Christmas and I’m anything but ready.  Hope things are going well for those family members I can not contact or who will not contact me.

     Watched a 16-year old film, Charlie’s Angles.  Totally ridiculous but fun.

     Now the barometer is climbing rapidly and sinuses are back to complaining.

     And mood, I’m still feeling down even though I really can’t nail down a reason for it.  Talked to Carl today. Went to Applebees to watch the game as I have no off-air or cable here.  Seahawks more than won, they slaughtered the Ravens.

     So don’t really know why I’m in this mood.  Family issues aren’t any better but that’s a constant but this mood isn’t.  Maybe my body is just beat down with the infection and all.

     The barometric pressure seems to have bottomed out and my sinuses of have adjusted and the pain has subsided.

     Probiotics have got my digestive system back on track.

     Still haven’t heard back from the lab but the clindomycin seems to be working and the boil is not re-inflating.

     So physically I seem to be doing well, emotionally, kind of down.  I kind of feel like I got left in one of the downer states after watching Across the Universe last night.  Maybe it used up all the neurotransmitters and my system hasn’t been able to rebuild yet although I’ve taken both 5-HTP and L-Tyrosine in an attempt to aid them in doing so.

     No lack of sleep, I’ve slept good the last three nights now that the intestinal discomfort is alleviated.

     Lack of human interaction aside from my wife and she’s gone more than not, including this evening, probably is a contributing factor.  Only call I got yesterday was from a customer whose DSL was broken by CenturyLink.  They escalated the repair in theory but he’s in Vancouver and much of that part of the state is under water.

     Don’t know what to do about it though, two kids won’t forgive me, Father won’t forgive me, Raymond doesn’t speak about anything other than games, and Carl, well he’s been too busy to talk to me for the last week and a half.

     Tried to get a meeting with the head pastor at the church that sponsors the mens accountability group that I’ve been attending for the last 3-1/2 years but nada, I leave voice mail, tells me to leave e-mail, leave e-mail and no reply.

     The barometer is taking another relatively rapid and relatively deep dive (below 29 inches) and my sinuses are telling me about it.  Decongestants help but they raise blood pressure so I don’t like to take them until the pain becomes unbearable.

From IMDB:

Since the beliefs that parents want to instill in their children can vary greatly, we ask that, instead of adding your personal opinions about what is right or wrong in a film, you use this feature to help parents make informed viewing decisions by describing the facts of relevant scenes in the title for each one of the different categories: Sex and Nudity, Violence and Gore, Profanity, Alcohol/Drugs/Smoking, and Frightening/Intense Scenes.

Translation

     If you want your children to be warmongering racist bigoted narcissistic assholes, don’t let them watch this film.

     I am feeling so emotionally overwhelmed after watching that film and my wife had to work tonight so I’m going to have to deal with my overwhelmedness all by myself.  I am sure I’ll survive but not comfortably.

     Across the Universe is probably my second favorite movie of all time, Allegro Non Troppo being my favorite.

     Across the Universe is a story set in the 60’s during the Viet Nam war centering around youth in America at the time.  It’s choreographed to Beatles music which is performed so awesomely that often I find their performance preferable to the original.

     The music is just absolutely awesome, the choreography is awesome, the storyline is good.  You can’t watch this movie and not feel just about every human emotion there is in the extreme.  This it shares with Allegro Non Troppo.

     I feel a bit emotionally overloaded at this point.

     I was first introduced to this film in a humanities class that I took as part of a multi-media course while I was in prison.  This is the only class I didn’t get an “A” in as it was interrupted by a lengthy lock down after the murder of Jayme Biendl.  The linked news server says she was known as a tough officer.  Actually she was popular among the prisoners.

     This was a time of a lot of emotion for me and this movie brings me back to that time.  I bought the DVD shortly after my release.  I’ve probably watched this film a dozen times and still I never tire of it.

It’s interesting that the fictional drug Felicium from Star Trek Next Generation episode Symbiosis, happens to also be the real name of an SSRI, or at least a brand name for one, Fluoxetine, an SSRI.

In the series Felicium was referred to as a “narcotic”, it dealt with one planet that was technologically evolved and a second planet in which the entire race was dedicated to producing only one substance, Felicium, to keep the other planet addicted, and the addicts on that planet in turn produced all the things needed for life on the first.

I’m pretty much convinced that the manufacturers of SSRI’s are mostly just drug pushers so the choice of a real SSRI for their fictional drug seems appropriate.  I’ve been treated with them for 25 years between the ages of 25-50 and I’m convinced they are mostly pure evil. (I’ve been off since April of 2010 and doing better than I ever did on them).

The thing about the human brain is that it is incredibly good at homeostasis. If you increase the amount of a neurotransmitter and your brain down regulates the receptor for that neurotransmitter.  So now you’re back where you were with the additional need and expense of a substance.

It might be helpful in providing a window of opportunity for treatment but not as a long term fix.