It’s been nearly 4 years since I was released, still I have prison nightmares and I expect these will be with me the rest of my life.  If I could leave this country to some place out of the reach of the US government, and reality is no such place exists, and never come back I would.  I don’t expect there is any other way these nightmares will ever end.  I ask God to give me peace but so far in this particular realm it has not happened.

     In the nightmare I had been back in for eight months, and I had not committed any crime.  And I have this fear because I know my political views aren’t popular with the powers that be and once you have a record any made up bullshit becomes more believable.  But you can be sure, if I go back it will not be for any crime I’ve committed.  I applied myself to the fullest in treatment because I really wanted to be free of the sexual demon and I feel I’ve largely succeeded at that, but the fear demon, he’s still got a firm grasp on me.

     So I had been there eight months in this dream and my wife visited, and I told her you’ve got to find me a lawyer but she had no money for a lawyer.  She did find my new release date and it was another year into the future, and then I thought they could arbitrarily change that.

     So I and two other prisoners broke out, and the rest of the dream was about being pursued and I woke up during the chase.

     In a dream I had last night, we (humans) had discovered how to decouple mass from material, or reduce the coupling as desired.

     It wasn’t high-tech, as simple as fire, just we had never stumbled upon it before.  But all of the sudden building pyramids became a piece of cake.

     Also easy and common place was “anti-gravity”, which really wasn’t anti-gravity at all, but rather reducing the mass of something until it became buoyant and floated.

     If we wanted to go faster-than-light, reduce the mass to zero, and then any energy input resulted in infinite acceleration.

     I think this will happen when the quarantine on Earth is lifted.

     Perhaps when we fully understand the Higgs boson, we’ll be able to manipulate it.

     Last night’s dreams involved talking chimp-like creatures, something more akin to what you see in Planet of the Apes.  This woman is trying to get a chimp to say something and the chimp instead says, “It’s easy for you.”

     I’m thinking it’s probably all the recent political activity, particularly Donald Trump, that has me dreaming about talking chimps.

     I woke up at that point, another night with a lot of pain, sleep was difficult.

     Just woke up from a dream in which I was launched into space on a Space Shuttle with the crew of the Archer series as the Shuttle crew.

     For reasons not apparent to me, I am feeling jittery today.  5-HTP and L-Tryptophan are not helping.  Tried meditating but my brain wants to race.  Have had little caffeine today, little sugar.  And this during a time of day when usually my body wants to nap.

     About the only thing I can think of that has changed, is that I’ve been plagued by intestinal discomfort since three courses of antibiotics between September to December to address a persistent strep infection seemed to have messed up my gut bacteria.

     I finally have found a probiotic that seemed to work, Jarrow-Dophilus EPS, and have enjoyed four days now of relative normalcy.  So between actually being able to sleep and actually being able to digest food, perhaps I’ve got energy I’m not used to having.

     When I went to check the post office box today, the Olympics were so clear that I decided to make a trip down to the Edmonds waterfront and photograph them.  I took this picture of them behind the Spokane ferry.

     I had a dream in which I was exploring a swampy area in a canoe.  Crocodiles on the edge spotted me and mobilized into the water intending me as their meal.

     I paddled as fast as I could back towards where I had entered and wasn’t sure if the crocodiles were going to catch me or I’d make it back to dry land.  Even if I did make it back to dry land, I wasn’t sure if I could out run them.

     At this point in my life I feel as though I’ve gone from a situation where Satan had me firmly in his grasp, I mean there was no question in my mind where I was going upon death, to where God has pried me from his grasp, but Satan still swipes at me with claws that occasionally connect and do damage.

     Today I went before a church board to tell confess my sinful crimes, tell my story, and ask to be accepted into the church.

     Before I went I prayed for God to give me the courage to be open and honest and for the wisdom not to be stupid.  He definitely granted me the first part and maybe even the second.  It went well.

     What person would decorate the sky so beautifully?