I mostly have my allergies under control using a combination of ChlorTabs (Chlorpheniramine Maleate) and AllerClear (Loratadine) tablets for general antihistamine, Flonase to help keep my nasal passages from being so stuffed up I can’t breath through my nose, and Optcon-A Naphazoline (a generic version of Naphcon-A) to keep eye goop under control. The Chlorpheniramine Maleate makes me drowsy but Loratadine by itself doesn’t provide adequate relief. This is mostly effective except I still have some skin rash. What has worked well for me in the past as far as skin goes is Triamcinalone cream but to get it I have to go to a doctor, that’s $140 because I don’t have coverage and another $60 for the actual medicine, and the doctors will never give me a decent sized prescription because they want to keep collecting those $140 office visits and I just can’t afford it so just have to suffer through it for now.

My feet are still dried out and I’ve got some fungal funk going on. My heels and sides of my toe boxes are cracked to the point where it makes walking painful. I’ve been using pro-ex Clotrimazole cream on that because it’s cheap (88 cents a 1.5 Oz tune) and Profoot Heal Rescue, and it seems to be slowly helping. At least it’s not to where it is bleeding any more.

I’m trying to find some health insurance I can afford but so far no go. I keep hoping you folks will give me a clue as to what you want to I can change Eskimo North into something that is wildly successful so I can afford it but so far that hasn’t happened.  I don’t know what to do about that except keep on keeping on.  I think of when Paul asked God to remove his affliction and he asked three times and it didn’t happen, sometimes that’s just our lot in life I guess.

     If Google wanted to improve the search experience, one thing that would do that would be to remove results pointing to teasers, where you get the first part of an article but then to get the rest you have to have a paid subscription to something.  I run into these all the time with New Scientist for example.  As far as I am concerned teaser articles amount to just yet another form of spam.

One week to go.

     I just awoke from another of those can’t get home dreams.  The geography was different from reality considerably in this one, as is often the case.  And this one involved some not unpleasant adventures along the way.

     For instance, there was an urban area we went through were some people were giving away free celery and asparagus that that they had grown.  We each took a handful with us.

     In this one, it was a sunny day and my wife and I had somehow ended up south of where we live, south of down town. The area was not economically depressed as it tends to be in this present day.  We noticed some cool old cars.  Then we headed westward, but instead of something like Harbour Island, there was like a hilly divide and then a lower area to the west.

     In the dream there was an electric train that ran north / south that would have taken us back towards our home but it was on the other side of the hilly divide.  There were two ways to get back to it, either walk the long way around that we had come, or go over the hill.

     I opted for going over the hill, but the road didn’t go all way through, there was an area where the road stopped, about a four foot bank, and then the road continued on the other side.  I was in the process of climbing the embankment and I smacked my toe on it.  I woke up to find my foot cramping near my toes.

     I need a Daniel, as in the Biblical dream interpreter, to interpret my not being able to get home dreams.

     I know two things about dreams in general:

1. When they are recurring it means that there is some issue that is pressing to be addressed and I’m not getting it.
2. That home represents self.

     In this context, I’m distant from home, and trying to get back.  I want to understand this because maybe it’s something I can address and then they’ll stop recurring.  They usually leave me depressed, not being able to get home reminds me of my childhood home which I never can go back to.  My childhood wasn’t all that happy so not really sure why I would want to.  I guess there is an appeal to being taken care of and not having real responsibilities.

     I do miss my mother who passed two years ago.  I’m afraid my fathers time may be limited and I am afraid of that.  I miss my children that I have hurt and alienated.

     I do wish I could not have a leaky roof, a check engine light in my car, and debt.  These things are addressable in time but not immediately.  I am a bit of a contradiction in as much as patience I have little of but perseverance a great deal of.  You would think the two would go hand in hand but for me they are polar opposites.

     The dreams trying to get home sometimes do involve a degree of adventure that isn’t altogether unpleasant.

     I just got up, haven’t even eaten breakfast, shaved, or showered yet.

     I awoke from another of those can’t get home dreams.  This one trying to get home on foot from unfamiliar territory.

     I am pretty sure as long as my two youngest remain alienated from me this place will never feel like home and I won’t get there until I die and these dreams will be with me the rest of my life.

     God forgives but sometimes people don’t.  The Bible tells me I should be content with God’s forgiveness, but that doesn’t stop the dreams or the longing for home.

     And speaking of The Beach Boys, this is my favourite Beach Boys song, and I agree with Paul McCartney when he said this was one of the most beautiful songs ever written, well, at least in pop music it’s up there pretty high on my list.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=AOMyS78o5YI

This just happened to be the first piece of music I noticed playing.  Don’t pretend to understand it but I love the harmonies.  The Shins remind me of the Beach Boys in terms of the harmonies they sing even though the lyrical content is much different.

Seems more true today than when it was written.