My days sleep, and it was that as I didn’t totally give up on getting a mail server back online until 6:30AM at which point I gave up and tried to sleep. However missing the Lyrica dosage on time the night before lead to a painful time so sleeping was difficult.
When I finally did get to sleep my sleep was rich with many dreams. I dreamt of swimming in a large very clean lake. It was crystal clear. Part of the Lake went under a bridge and on the other side of the bridge there was a chain link fence that fenced it off and a building at one end that part of the lake seemed to go under.
I walked around the fence on land and there was a big hill covered with bushes. They were thick and there were also blackberry thorns interwoven with other vegetation.
By this time I was joined by half a dozen other men and women and we climbed up a steep hill and fought our way through these bushes. At the top of the hill there was a clearing and in the clearing a very old house. There was no driveway or walkway to the house, it was totally surrounded by all of these bushes as if it were intentionally cut off and camouflaged.
Inside the house there was a stack of strange electronics. We each took an item and intended to take back with us for further examination. I thought this must either be some secret military thing or an alien post of some sort.
We were back in the woods and now I and others were armed with rifles. I shot and killed a young buck. Others patted me on the back and were like you’re the man. But I didn’t feel like a man, I felt terrible for taking it’s life. I did not need it’s life for me nourishment. I didn’t even really like deer meat. But I was determined to bring it back so that others might enjoy it since I had killed it. To leave it there to rot would dishonor it’s spirit.
There was more but like dreams often do the rest has evaporated.
I’ve only got a few hours left before the Earth start’s it’s 58th orbit of our Sun. I’m trying to work, in a bit of a mental funk right now. I feel like I’ve pretty much ruined my life with little chance of recovery.
Half of my family won’t talk to me, a portion of my family I’m not even legally allowed to speak to. I’m sure the judge thought it all for the best, I disagree, such is what is left of life I guess.
I went to the post office at 4PM to check for mail in the post office box. My post office box was bare, just like mother Hubbard’s cupboard.
It was SO dark, not night but super thick nasty clouds, that my car decided it was night and turned on the headlights and dimmed the dash. I noticed every other car on the road also had it’s headlights on which is better than many do when it actually IS night.
I thought with clouds this thick it ought to be just dumping buckets on us. Within about 15 seconds of my having that thought it started to rain. I’d say be careful what you wish for only this really wasn’t a wish, merely an observation.
I went to bed early tonight as I have to be up at 5:40 AM to go to a men’s accountability group meeting.
I thought I would have trouble falling asleep. I didn’t, rather I woke up out of a nightmare where someone was trying to kill me and they were chasing me and I was running for what seemed like forever. And this came out of another dream where I was in a strange place, strange people around, really living a life that was not mine.
When I woke up, I was shivering violently even though I was warmly covered up on a heated water bed. After being awake for a few minutes the shivering stopped.
Now I am having difficulty getting back to sleep, hence my being here to type this in. I listened to coast to coast for a while, George Noory usually bores me to sleep in just minutes but not tonight.
Tonight must be pagan night or else they’re preparing for Halloween early. First they have an astrologer on, and I’ll admit he makes it interesting. I also believe there is something to astrology. I based this upon an encounter with a woman in my teenage years who didn’t know me and I didn’t know her. But she asked some questions with respect to my personality and limited life experiences and proceeded to tell me when and where I was born.
Then after the astrologer they had someone on who was big on reincarnation and that might have been boring if it were not for his knowledge in ancient mythology, Greek and Egyptian at least, and he himself was Jewish. I find mythology fascinating because I believe that most myths are based in truths, some of them literal, some metaphoric.
So in spite of the fact that George is still as exciting as a box of rocks, his guests tonight were interesting which didn’t help getting back to sleep but I think also a fear that I will return to that same dream is keeping me awake.
I really dodged two bullets tonight. First, I always have my accountant file for automatic extensions because the late Winter and Spring are usually very busy seasons and I’m usually way overloaded in terms of time and things to do so my business return then needs to be filed by September 15 and personal return by October 15. Business return wasn’t bad but I was worried I’d have more of a tax bill than I could afford personally because I sold some IPv4 address space for a sizeable chunk in 2015.
As it turned out the amount I owed was much less than I expected and now that I think of it, I plowed quite a lot of money into new equipment in 2015, upgrading two of three i7-2900 servers to i7-6700k based machines which meant new motherboards, CPU, and memory and they were high end motherboards.
Then this storm tonight, hit South Sound hard, hit Seattle fairly hard, hit Everett fairly hard, but skipped over the area of Shoreline where I live.
So these two things that I had a lot of anxiety about, both resolved favorably and so yea first I am relieved and that is nice, but after that I am depressed, and this is a long standing pattern for me, I get worked up over something, it resolves, then I am depressed.
I suspect it is internal drug withdrawal from adrenalin and cortisol created by the stressful situation being suddenly withdrawn, but don’t seem to have a good strategy for handling it.
Our services should remain reliable during a storm as all of the equipment is co-located in a facility with UPS power and a generator to provide power during a sustained commercial AC power outage.
However, support is provided out of my home office. We do not have UPS power here and Comcast provides our connectivity. If the power goes out or a tree falls and takes cable down with it, our phones may be dead and I may not be able to access our servers.
If the storm is severe we may be more difficult to reach by phone because of telephone outages. It may be more difficult for me to monitor our servers if Comcast cable goes down. The best thing to do is to call and if you don’t get through to us then leave a message and also send e-mail to email@example.com. That way if I go some place there is power and I can gain network access, we can get your e-mail.
Everybody ready on the West Coast ready for the apocalypse storm tomorrow?
I had a dream last night involving friends from 40 years ago that used to run a pirate radio station as did I. I went over to this persons house and there had been a wedding there earlier that day, one of his relatives, not sure who.
I had a lot of fun with the stations back then, especially early on when we had record support from all the major labels and pretty decent coverage area and yet had not yet acquired the unwelcomed attention of the FCC.