It’s almost 1AM, been trying to sleep since 8PM, can’t, too much pain. Took 800MG of gabapentin (doctor says can take up to 900MG as I tolerate it), not finding relief tonight.
When they put me on metFormin, the pain I already had increased significantly, and it increased again when the dosage went up after the first week. I read my body will eventually adjust but I’m not sure I will survive the adjustment period.
Right now I would do / take just about anything to alleviate this pain. Parts of my body feel like they are on fire.
I have an audio recording of an acoustic version of this which I really like because the lyrics are much easier to hear but can’t find it on youtube.
When I was a kid, the Penny Arcade at the Seattle Center had a machine, I don’t remember what it was called but imagine “Shocker”.
The machine had two metallic knobs you grab on to. You put a nickle in it and it would deliver pulsed electrical shocks about once a second between the knobs, the intensity of which was controlled by rotating the left one.
The idea was to see who could handle the most juice, you or your friends.
At the time it seemed harmless enough but now I’m thinking, one hand to the other, a path straight through the heart, and it only takes about 15ma through the heart to put it into fibrillation. This in hindsight seems like not the best idea.
But we were kids, we were strong.
Service at church was moving.
Usually oldest son Carl comes over for Easter dinner, but apparently not tonight. He doesn’t answer his cell phone so no idea what is going on.
Pain flared up during nap. Comes and goes though, I think my whole body is going to hell in a hand basket. Can’t take more gabapentin until bedtime.
Hopefully the doctor is right and as blood sugar gets under control it will decrease. Time will tell.
I’d be lying if I said I weren’t just a bit down about the lack of family being here. I guess this is just what old age is about.
Doctor put me on gabapentin. Pharmacist said it would take several days to take effect but I got immediate relief. Went from a sensation of having lighter fluid poured all over my abdomen, groin, and lower back and set on fire, to just a minor sting at the incision site. That I can live with until things heal.
I got a decent nights sleep for the first time in a long time last night. I felt a little groggier upon waking and a little hungrier than normal, but otherwise no noticeable side effects. Certainly no desire to kill myself which I guess is one potential side effect.
I thought it interesting that my pain ended, around 9pm, on Good Friday, about the same time Jesus’s much greater pain ended with his death on the cross. My pain was very minor by contrast and probably well deserved.
Went to the doctors today and there is good news and bad news.
The good, they x-rayed me and did not find any masses or other obstructions.
The bad news, the burning pain I’ve been experiencing relates to a nerve that was cut when they drained the boil. As it heals there is a phase where it is super-irritable and that’s where it is at and the reason I’m feeling the burning pain. This could last months to the rest of my life.
Secondary bad news, they determine cause is not a mechanical obstruction but did not determine what is, so now I’ve been referred to a gastroenterologist for further diagnostics.
My experience in Shoreline Covenant Church today, the first time I’ve attended after my initial introduction, was awesome. Actually a couple of hymns we sang that I knew (first time everything was unfamiliar). Really felt the presence of the Holy Spirit there and it’s action on the people there. The people there are so real, more so than any church I’ve ever attended before.
I left in a euphoric but completely drained state, got home, did a little work but then napped for a couple of hours.
A prayer I said this morning asked for help with those aspects of my spirit that still are sinful. Mostly I have problems with anger, being judgemental, not thinking of others needs first.
My wife works nights which means she must sleep during the day, and she has less opportunity to do so when we go to church on Sundays.
One of our neighbors, Terry the Terrible, has a fascination with gasoline powered motorized devices, leaf blowers, air compressors, power washers, gasoline powered weed whackers, lawn mowers, generators, boat outboard motors, you name it, if it has a gasoline engine in it and it’s noisy he loves it.
I have a difficult time not being angry with him when he fires these things up and runs them for hours knowing my wife is sleeping. Right now he is power washing something in a tent and has been for the last two hours, right outside our bedroom window.
Still in some pain and I had a dream of being in prison and my pants were torn so I needed to get a replacement pair of pants but it was a total hassle which is the reality of being in prison.
It’s been four years almost and still I have these dreams and I think they are Satan trying to make me feel unforgiven even though I know that I am.
I spent some time reading the Bible after I woke up. Seems to me the way to get away from Satan or have Satan get away from me is to get closer to God.